A
male
age
36-40,
*awguy170
writes:I have been dating a girl for over a month now. She has no parents(hasn't since she was 16). She is very closed off and also very cautious which I understand. I am leaving for a month and we decided to try to stay in contact and we will see how it goes. However she did say that she wasn't looking for a long term relationship because she hasn't had a job and doesn't know what will happen. She did just get an offer here in town and accepted. Why would a girl continue to date/talk if she doesn't want anything long term, and she keeps saying things like you will meet my sister instead of my family, that I'm lucky(haha). Am I wasting my time? Can anyone shed some light on what might be going on in her head? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Blonde_J  +, writes (24 June 2010):
Afraid you've going to have to talk to the lady in question. But you need to be really honest about what you want and need out of whats happening. I mean you've been dating a month - how big a 'commitment' are you really asking for? It sounds to me like you just don't want to think its impossible for this to turn into something long term, which is fair enough and you need a bit of reassurance that she's not going to drop you simply because she gets a bit scared of being tied down. You really should just talk to her. It's very early days for the both of you, its just circumstances that have put on a bit of added pressure. Her reaction to that is to pull back and yours is to push forward. You've just got to meet in the middle. :)
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 June 2010):
I think she's being realistic and tell you that at this time there are things in her life that she needs to address before she can totally commit. But she does want to continue to talk and date, and she does want you to meet her sister apparently. So you're not wasting your time, but you need to accept that this is something that could certainly take it.
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