A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This maybe long but i need to get it off my chest and put a stop to it. Me and my friend(a guy we'll call him Jay "not his real name" to save confusion) I dont know what to do. he says we;re good friends and all but honestly i try to talk to him and i;d get more conversation out of stuffed teddy bear! hes just so strange. We go out with another couple drinking socially. Im the one that invites him out! Please note this:Sometimes he will be fine, ask what ive been up to tell me what hes been doing although once the convo ends thats it. Whereas usually he just walks in says hi occasionally speaks to the others asking what they;ve been doing. Etc. If he see's something (e.g - one of them has a new phone) he will make conversation about it. But me however.....nothing!its constantly like this. I try to speak to him online but all i can do is ask him questions or actually tell him random stuff that i;ve been doing. I dont understand because he will talk to everyone else fine, online or in person. I even asked him what was wrong with him the other day a he didnt seem ok and he just said "nothing im fine"....i cant get nowhere!People tell me to try and just be friendly and flirty with him but to be honest i dont wanna go and make him awkward with me! I dont think i can try anything else as when we go out hes so quiet with me and just goes to the others. Sometimes it appears negative to me but i dont think he means it that way. He is a shy guy in general however when he wants to he can liven up. I just dont know what to do!There is something else thats always been playing on my mind about his behaviour. We went out one night(quite a while ago) and were left alone, we started just messing around and i sat on his knee he started cuddling me. Very tightly very affectionately and he just wouldnt let go, as if we were toegther. We just kept playfighting and cuddling all night. He took me outside and he seemed very nevous, all he said was "look im sorry for the past and..." We got interrupted so when we got back in he pulled me back onto him, held my hand and said how good friends we are. We just kept cuddling and he kept rubbing my leg etc, wrapping his round mind and had his hands in places.Also when he took me home ill one night he held my hand but i never knew if that was because i was ill. We went out about a month or so ago and i was just messing round and having fun with my mates bf as "jay" was with my mate. All we did was playfight and he kept looking at me and said to my mate "cummon if they;re doing it we are!" later that night he just said jokingly i was flirting abit with her bf and asked me if i liked anyone at uni. Everyone said he was jealous!!!So i just dont know what to do! Im very shy myself and last time we went out he didnt seem to give a toss he was just with them all the time. I cant even have an online convo with him as i feel he doesnt want to :( He says we;re good friends but what can i do?
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 I don't know... lots of girls are "sissies" about relationships, too.
I will say that it is POSSIBLE he really likes you. He is trying not to appear like he likes you and so gives others more attention that you.
He thought something may have been developing and then saw you engage in similar behaviour with another boy. He was hurt and probably a little jealous.
You either have to lay out how you feel (if you like him, too) or leave him to his silent brooding and stop initiating contact.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010): Ok, one thing I have learnt about guys is that they are complete sissies when it comes to feelings, us girls are so into a guy when we are so into them, guys are afraid esp when they young and even more so because he is shy. I say you just act "uninteresed" at least that could give him a bit of a chase and if he comes "knocking at your door" you can then feel free to fall for him... The fact that he has shown you affection is an obvious sign that he is some what into you but just becareful, if you a pretty girl that may have been a "stunt" to draw attention and questions...?? Guys are wierd and believe me they get even wierder as time goes by... you just have to (as a girl) step back and take it as it comes, show your signs and give subtle hints but dont force him to show his, if he doesnt meet you half way then stuff it, you threw the rode and he never hooked on so ya gta swing your rod elsewhere...*
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