A
female
age
51-59,
*dviceInNeed
writes:Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year now with a break. the break was caused because i had been told he was talking to girls online seductively, so i went online on a fake account and he then did things on webcam etc. thinking i wouldnt find out. however, i do love him to bits... and this is the final go for us? but hes always recieving texts and calls of girls but he deletes his texts and his call history? he goes out alot and when im with him he doesnt want to go out? when we were having a break, he was in a picture with a girl doing what looked like holding hands.. however he said his hands were in his pockets? i dont know what im supposed to think of this at all? please help!
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a break, talking to girls, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): I wouldnt waste anymore time on him. Hes already proved he cant be trusted to behave around other women. Surely seeing him on a webcam proved that to you. Hes a player enjoying all the attention. Find someone who wants to give their attention just to you.
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (23 February 2010):
 Oh please. If this guy is going online and doing dirty things with other girls, nothing is going to stop him from taking it further. You already caught him doing inappropriate when he thought you were someone else, so thus far, your trust is pretty much gone. If you can't trust him already, and it's only been a year, I would seriously consider letting this guy go. If you ask him straight up about anything, he'll most likely lie. Beating around the bush and attempting to question him about these recent activities will only show you that he isn't honest.
He's deleting all of his texts and he's getting rid of his call history. He's hiding something, and I'm sure it has something to do with his cheating online habits. You've only lost a year with this guy, so get out while you still can. Without trust, people in a relationship are miserable.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 February 2010):
This is very suspicious. The holding hands during the break is one thing. But all the mysterious calls are another. I would ask him to explain them and tell him that they both you a bit.
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A
male
reader, ConcernedDavid +, writes (23 February 2010):
 I don't wish to make up your mind for you or anything but I would suggest trusting your gut instincts. If you feel you can't live without him then stick with him and confront him with your feelings. I personally suggest confronting him about the situation and taking a first step from there.
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A
female
reader, marie jane renshaw +, writes (23 February 2010):
 i have been in the same situation as you before,idont think you should lay off your boyfriend, he is obviously hiding something from you and i would sit him down and talk to him and get him to tell you the truth about what happened when you was on a break and expkain it doesnt matter because you werent together at that point whats in the past stays in the past but if he cant be honest and truthfully then you cant carry on the relationship its not fair,i know you love him to bits but can you really live with yourself knowing what you think you know?
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A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (23 February 2010):
 You either trust him or you don't. If within a year you are finding infidelity or hints of it keep in mind that this will be hanging over everything for as long as you are with him unless you simply make a choice whither to trust him.
One thing to do is talk to him about it but in a way not using the dreaded, argument starting "you" statement.
"I don't wish to be distrustful or jealous but it those texts and calls you get bother me for some reason. Can you help me understand?"
His answer should speak volumes.
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