A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so heres the story. I have been talking to this guy everyday for the past few months and we are meeting up when im off work for a weeks holiday which is in 2 weeks(Its the only time we will both be free cos the days he has off i work and vice versa). We have talked about where we are going and that and what we would both be comfortable doing but i feel really nervous because i feel like i have connected to him well and dont wanna mess things up. My problem is that iv never been in a relationship before which is making me more nervous. I want something to come out of this but im scared of being hurt because i have watched many of my friends be hurt in the past. I think if things go well we may end up having sex and it will be the first time for us both and i think id feel comfortable with him. Just need any advice on how to open up and get close to a guy cause as iv said im afraid to get hurt.Any advice would be helpful. Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 You say that you're afraid of getting hurt and that you've never been in a relationship before. My advice to you would be to get to know this guy slowly and don't rush into things. I would also advise you to not sleep with him during this holiday. You're not in a relationship yet, you don't know him that well and sleeping with someone so soon is a recipe for emotional disaster, especially for someone like yourself who's never been in a relationship before and never slept with anyone before.
I can already tell that you've invested your feelings here as you say you don't want to mess up. Lower your expectations a little...anything could happen and the last thing you want is to be disappointed.
How did you meet this man? How well can you say you know him? Have you ever met him in person? If not, you should not believe everything he says, be a little smarter here...many men are users. I'm not trying to crush your hopes here but you need to be careful.
You can certainly have a nice time with him, be friendly, fun and open up...but at the same time look after yourself first and foremost. He could be the nicest person but people are good at acting and they will say anything to get what they want. The only way to protect yourself and to find out his real motivations is to give it time. Go and meet him, have a good time but don't sleep with him. Let him show you his true colours. Date for a while and only when you're satisfied he's in it for you and not just sleeping with you, go ahead and do what you're comfortable with.
I really hope you consider things a bit more before doing something that you may regret. Be a bit smarter about this and don't worry what he thinks of you in case you decide not to sleep with him...you need to look after yourself, because in the end that's all that matters.
Wish you all the best :)
A
male
reader, ConcernedDavid +, writes (23 February 2010):
 I think that you need not worry. I believe that we all need experiences (good and bad) to shape our personalities. So I think you should for it if you feel comfortable. If you feel comfortable to lose your virginity then you must be mature enough and ready. Be yourself and everything should map out perfectly as I see it. Good luck!
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