A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 35 year old married man with kids. I had a really close friendship with a woman with whom I worked for about 5 years and she recently left the company. Our relationship was very intense in that it even got to the point in the last 6 months that we talked about our attraction to each other and nearly went to far (sex), but did not. I am thankful that we resisted the temptation.She has been gone for about a month now and even though she said she wanted to stay in touch, it seems as though she isn't interested in doing so now. She has new job and I am sure is busy, but when you go from talking every day for years to nothing, it is odd.My question is should I be thankful that this is the situation, given the “dangerous” attraction we had with each other? She is in a relationship too, so do you think she is not staying in touch for the same reason, that this is a good chance to stop this before it goes too far? I know it is silly but when you go from talking and flirting every day to nothing I can’t help but feel a bit hurt that she is not staying in touch at all. Again, maybe I should be thankful. Thanks everyone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/05/21/o.having.emotional.affair/index.htmlYou are just as guilty as if you had a sexual affair with this woman, it was still a betrayal of trust to your wife and family to have had this emotional affair with this woman.I am glad at least one of you has had the sense to end it.Google Emotional Affairs, there is a wealth of information on them, the above article is a good start.You really need to watch your behavior in the future and turn towards you wife to fix what ever you might feel is lacking in your relationship. In other words affair proof you marriage. You will be a whole lot worse off divorced and losing your kids and your financial assets all just to get some emotional highs or kicks from flirting.
A
female
reader, APowerfulEnergy +, writes (4 September 2009):
First off, are you familiar with the term "You reap what you sow?" sometimes our consequences from what did catch up with us, whether its hurt from near-adultery- or just flat out adultery. How would your wife feel about all of this? First of, you let things go too far with this woman that you worked with. You did no thave sex, but to have feelings, intense feelings for someone behind your wife's back tells me that maybe you are one 36 year old male that isn't ready to be tied down yet. there are plenty like that out there. Do you love your wife? If you did why would you do something like that to her? Ask yourself questions like that. The longer you stay married to someone oyu are not sure you love, the more hurt it will bring if she finds out about something like this..I'm not being mean I'm just saying. Remember death also follows the adulteress and the adulterer. Ever watch lifetime? You should try it.
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (4 September 2009):
 I think she is fearful of getting into what would have progressed into an extra-marital affair with you.She has probably decided to move on.The sad part is you miss the friendship that you had. Its very hard to explain this, but sometimes the attraction is still there long after someone stops contact.I am certain she misses you too, but she is trying to avoid you in order to help you move on and back to your family.On the other hand, you want to hear from you because you care about her.Opposite sex friendships can be difficult, and are so much harder because of the way our society works.As far as her relationship, I think she is trying to make that one work because its more realistic.
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A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (4 September 2009):
 Its probably a blessing in disguise that she has cut contact i mean shes ina relationship your in a relationship and no matter how much you felt for eachother it was just lust and you could have hurt alot of people like your family friends maybe. She probably cut you off due to guilt towards her partner and didnt want to loose what she had. If your not happy with your wife you should get out of the relationship or try and sort out ways of making it happier because if you do this with someone else it probably will go further and yourl leave yourself in a pickle. all cheaters get caught, do you want to hurt your wife and kids?
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