A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I'll try and make this short. I was in a very long term, happy relationship. We split up amicably-ish about 5 months ago. He hooked up with an idiot of a girl straight after. She is such a loser! Amongst many idiotic things she does, she constantly gloats about him and is 'pleased' to have taken him from me. Despite all thats happened I have always been friendly to both of them, although I don't speak to the girl anymore (mainly cause she I know she will use anything I say as ammunition). My point is, my ex and I have so many mutual friends and history that we can't avoid each other. I'm always friendly to him but I just don't know whether I'm doing the right thing. For someone who couldn't even respect me enough to wait before getting another girlfriend, should I be friends with him? Is it right to act friendly and happy when I'm around him? He really hurt me, and I don't want him to think that it's ok to do that to people.
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male
reader, caterpillarchapstick  +, writes (25 February 2010):
if you are still hurting then the answere is no, you cannot be friends. it sounds to me like you are not over it but you would like him to think that you are. my ex is a more attractive than my new girlfriend but there is nothing she can do to get me back. when we run into her she is always trying to be rude to the new girlfriend. i always stick up for both of them but obviously favor the new girl. if your ex can't stick up for you then he is not your friend anymore. your mutual friends are just going to have to deal with it and you may end up losing some of them too. don't sell yourself short.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 February 2010):
Don't bother. Let him have the loser. You focus on your own life.
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A
female
reader, BlueBird1990  +, writes (25 February 2010):
 Hi,
No, I dont think he deserves to have anything to do with you anymore. He hurt you so bad. Staying friends will just hurt you more. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Wait for the right one to come along and sweep you up off your feet. Having history one thing could lead to another and you could end up hurt again.
I hope you make the right choice
BlueBird
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A
female
reader, heather016 +, writes (25 February 2010):
oh my gosh this is such a complicated situation. i totally know how you feel with the guy we used to date, dates a loser!
even worse, i feel very ashamed with our mutual friends that it didnt work out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): ah no the guy is a jerk
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