A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a 44 y/o male engaged to a 42 y/o woman...we have been together for 1.5 yrs., our relationship has had it's ups and downs, however, we profess our commitment to each other. She seems to wear her ring with pride. Although, lately we have been in a down swing...My question is: Should I be concerned if she groomed herself "down there" the day before she went on a biz trip to Maui? She's going alone and didn't pack a swim suit.Please advise.Parry Noidal
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): No bathing suit for Hawaii? Yeah right, unless she's there every other week and it's no longer a big deal... and that I doubt. I guarantee you, either she packed a suit and you didn't see it or she's planning on buying one there to save room in the suitcase. Or just because she's a chick and wants an excuse to shop for a new suit.Beach + bathing suit = shaving down below to not look gross. Any remotely hairy female over the age of, say, 12, is going to have to do some ladyscaping down there in order to rock a bikini without baring the bush.The bigger issue here is the lack of trust. She shaves down below and you run to the internet to ask strangers whether or not she plans to cheat? No offense, guy, but the one you need to have a conversation with is your fiancee! Bring it up with her -- "I notice you shaved down there. Any special reason why?" and see what she says/does. I'm betting her motives are innocent, but if they aren't, an evasive reaction should be all the answer you need. Best of luck!!
A
female
reader, dazey  +, writes (10 November 2009):
Parry, I like your question. I can only speak from experience and I guarantee it that the only time I groom "down there" is when it is expecting some action.
Don't think you're just getting paranoid either, there's a reason you noticed this grooming. I have caught a cheating man out simply by virtue of him having a random bath. Later he admitted that he wanted me to find out, and he knew I'd pick up on the special grooming.
In your case, I might be wrong. I don't know your missus but you do, so you decide.
Finally, if your suspicions are founded, perhaps you might be able to accept a spot of holiday non-monogamy?? In any case it sounds as though this grooming might be a signal to open some dialogue on the subject.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): is her grooming out of the ordinary or does she groom nevertheless? i would be veryyyyyyyyyyy concerned if she goes to the beach but chooses not to take her bathing costume, it is like a fisherman going fishing without any tackle/rod and telling his wife about the big one that got away!!!1
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A
female
reader, littlenicky  +, writes (10 November 2009):
 To be perfectly honest, the problem is not whether she did or didnt. The problem is TRUST. I believe you dont trust her and you may have been hurt in the past but the past is the past, your with a new women dont try and relate her to your ex partners, if you love the women try not to make any sudden moves think wisely and take your time to realise if you love her or not? If she has personally groomed herself it could be that she will be going swimming or she just likes to be natural and clean. It doesnt neccessarily mean shes up to anything, and in the end if she is doing it because shes meeting someone what can you do about it. but whatever happens keep your heart and mind open and clear. you have been together for 1.5 years you probably know her really well, do you really deep down think she is going to do that? if the answer is yes then why are you with her, i bet shes going away with a few friends all she'll do is have some laughs with friends and few weeks down the line she'll be back in your arms and then you dont have to worry, until next time. i think you shud work on your trust issues and if you have a problem try not to keep it all bottled up. talk to her, make sure your not accusing her and tell her your just a little insecure and you would like some reassuring. if you were to say it like that in a nice simple why not threatening or accussing. im sure she will give you reassurance and if she doesnt bit slightly worryed but try not to let it bother you. if you get that reassurance youll feel a whole lot better, so ask her nicely. your 45 youve probably been through life with many ups and downs, do you really wanna be messing about again, if you love her with all your heart. Do yourself a favour, chill out and stop worrying. youll either be fine and happy in love for the rest of your life, or it just wasnt meant to be. thats life. i hope i have helped you feel better if anything and just show her how much you love her
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (10 November 2009):
 She groomed because she's going to the beach/pool and doesn't want hair sticking out of her bathing suit.
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (10 November 2009):
 Mmm Parry Noidal.... I would say that you may be getting paranoid about her being away from you for so long and so far away.. But if she normally never grooms herself like that, then I'd worry more than if she usually grooms herself like that especially during warmer weather... The latter part is more likely to mean she is doing it for herself... if she never has done that for you in the past 1.5 years and all of a sudden she is doing it for this business trip... I would worry that this business trip is not much of a business trip.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 November 2009):
 She went to Hawaii without a bathing suit? I don't think so. She brought one, you just don't remember the one she packed. It would be abnormal for a woman who is going to a tropical island NOT to groom herself. You've got some suspicion on this. Did you find out about the grooming through personal, hands-on knowledge? If so, she may have wanted to share some non-hairy intimate moments with you before she went away.Does she groom herself at all, besides this? Or has she been hairy for 1.5 years and then just this week does the grooming thing?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 November 2009):
A man grooms to look better for someone else, a woman grooms to feel better about herself. Unless your wife has really given you a reason to not trust her, trust her.
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A
female
reader, old-spinstah +, writes (10 November 2009):
No, I don't think so. Grooming for women is often about FEELING good rather than looking good. If you feel neatly groomed you feel more confident and sure about yourself even if no-one is going to see all the bits you groomed! If this is a big business trip for her, feeling confident might be really important. Besides - she might be going to buy a new swimsuit when she's there.
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (10 November 2009):
 I groom because I feel better when I am groomed. When going to a hot climate, it would be more comfortable, whether I am in a bathing suit or not.
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (10 November 2009):
 I groom myself down there, up here and around about there on many occasions, for many reasons just because I feel like it, most of the time it is a coincidence if i do it before a function but sometimes on purpose for a trip - not because i want to jump in the sack with someone else while i'm away or because I want to impress anyone, but usually because it is easier to spend a few days away "groomed" without worrying about it than to go away and have to have all the bits and bobs i keep in my bathroom in my travel bag to keep myself looking and feeling fresh.
She may just have felt like a change. I'm sure if she was hiding anything from you she'd have used the bathroom when she got there to groom for appearance sake.
Try not to worry about it. I'm sure its fine. If you still wonder, why not ask? Although, a little trust goes a long way.
Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 November 2009):
 Maybe she is planning on buying one once she gets there. Is there a reason why you don't trust her?
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