A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm divorced for 5 years. I'm looking for a relationship. I have a friend, a woman I've known for 15 years. I met her when our kids were going to school together. We've been dating, going out to dinner having drinks for about a year now, but she seems to keep me at arms length. We're both available to have a relationship. I know she's attracted to me. We've done no more than kiss. I'm getting frustrated, wanting more of a relationship and getting the feeling she's not interested in a relationship, but then she calls me, texts me, got angry at me because I didn't tell her when I was ill, she seems to run hot and cold. I want to ask her about the possibility of us starting a relationship but I don't want to seem like I'm trying to push her. Should I make an approach asking her if we have relationship possibilities or should I just wait it out for a while longer and see if warms up or is it getting colder, I don't know how she really feels about us.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 October 2014):
 Now I am totally guessing here, it's just a hunch I have, but what I think it is that no, she is not interested.
She sounds like a woman who wants companionship, and wants the chance of having MALE attention and a MALE date, every now and then. If she is in your age range , and single, - many women in that age range feel " bad " or " strange " going places by themselves, and also get bored of between always just with the gals, of course.
One year of dates it's quite a while, I think that if she is single, likes you in THAT way, and wants a relationship- eh you would KNOW by now. She would have asked you / told you / hinted it/ signaled it . And she would have craftily engineered things to make them become sexual , in case you are one of those shy guys who never take the initiative. You can bet on that. She is not 17- she may be shy too, or reserved, or old fashioned... but she is a woman ,she's good at this kind of stuff ; and she has learned a thing or two along the way. I am pretty sure that if she were interested in you romantically / sexually - you would KNOW it by now.
You say you have kissed and, sorry if this sounds unflattering for you- I sort of feel that in her mind that's sort of the price she's got to pay to keep your interest alive and keep the dates and the chaperoning and the attention coming. But it's extremely doubtful that she wants more from you -particularly in terms of physical intimacy. I feel it's like she has ... friendzoned you with an addition of random kisses .
I can be wrong, of course. Never said that I get them all right.
So, when in doubt- why not asking anyway ? what have you got to lose ? Tell her that you are available for a relationship and ask her if she wants to give it a try. The worst she can do is to say " no "- and ... you are not a teenager, at your age, you CAN avoid feel devastated, heartbroken, etc.; and you can choose to mantain the friendship and the companionship , no hard feelings, if so you are inclined to do.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 October 2014):
 If you have been dating or going out as companions. I don't see asking her if she wants more is "pushing" her. I would say she ought to know after a whole year if she wants to be more than friends or not.
If you are interested n more, why not ask her?
If she rather just be friends you might as well know now and maybe look elsewhere for a partner.
Now I assume she is single? If not, disregard the advice to ask her.
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A
male
reader, tinybutnotfangless  +, writes (8 October 2014):
 I understand that experience and being openly communicative comes down to the bonds between people, which is not something easily observed and dissected by outsiders, so I can only offer you what I would do in your situation.If I were you, I would ask her directly what she wants and what she feels is a possibility of us being together. If she is being hot and cold because she wants to care for you, but is afraid of being hurt all over again and possibly losing this special friendship you both have, then the only thing I can see happening is to be patient and see where the next steps take you two. I stopped with beating around the bush when it came to friendship issues and intimacy issues by the time I got to my mid to late 20's. After years of uncertainty and second guessing, I came to the realization that direct communication is the best way to deal with these sort of things, at least for me.Mind you, there are indeed pros and cons and this is where the whole over-thinking aspect breaks us. The pro may be that you will have a nice long chat and get to the bottom of the hot and coldness. The con may be that she gets pressured and backs off. However, if you two have maintained a relatively good relationship for 15 years, I don't see why it would be a problem communicating with her openly about this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2014): If you want to have relationship with her then say her that love her.if not just stay as a frnd.u said that she was close and kissed her. Then do one thing,press her hips tightly and give long kiss to her.and explain ur lust by showing ur dick to her.if understads u she will give u niece blow job.
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