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countrygal462
writes:Should age really matter in a relationship?I personally think, and from experience in my own life, that age shouldn't matter. All it is is a number. No one should be judged on who they love or who they're atracted to. I take into consideration the creepers that are out there to only hurt people, I also know that from personal experience. My father was a cruel man. From situtions well.. I should say situation I'm in, I think todays society shouldn't be judging anyone on who they love. No matter the age, whether it be a 15 year old and a 26 year old. It shouldn't matter. As long they are both committed to having a mature relationship and if they ever split, they'd handle it appropriately. This "article" is my own opinion. Everyone is entitled to one. And many of you readers would disagree with me completely. And I respect you for that because that's how you feel on this subjuct. But I just think that's it not right for people to have their feelings down graded because of an age gap between two people. It's unfair. They should get as much chance as anyone else.So I ask again.. Should age REALLY matter in a relationship?Take this article how you want, but I bet a lot of people would agree with me on this. Please give me feed back! I would greatly appreciate reading your personal opinions. Thanks so much for reading. Reply to this Article
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female
reader, countrygal462 +, writes (11 July 2009):
countrygal462 is verified as being by the original poster of the question dont worry about all that. just go for it. :) but, you should still be careful. i am :)
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female
reader, ugh101 +, writes (7 July 2009):
 to some it might. To me it dosnt. Im still not sure if this is a good thing or not. lol. Im afraid that it might get me into some troble.Thanks for the discussionXX
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reader, MiZ.Favor +, writes (30 June 2009):
people say age is just a number but that doesnt go for all things there's a set age difference - it varies through life. For instance, a seventy year old and a fifty five year old are going to attract a lot less negative attention than a 16 year old and a 31 year old, but the age difference is the same. if you wanna date a guy thats olda than u go ahead these nothin wrong wit it
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reader, countrygal462 +, writes (27 June 2009):
countrygal462 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni think you should talk to his kids and try to find a common ground with them. i mean theyve got to get use to it cuz yall r guna be married.
hope this helped a little.
best of wishes..:)
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reader, shannon_kennedy +, writes (24 June 2009):
I am a 22 year old female, dating to soon be married to a 62 year old male, when we met we totally fell for eachother, it was like love at first sight! I personally believe age does not matter what so ever as long as were happy and in love, as we are, and noone should be judging us but God. God never put an age on who you should be with and I think is so unfair that many people disagree and judge. Everyone wants to believe it's all about money, but I fell in love with him before I even found out what his income is.. He loves me and wants to take care of me, and I want to take care of him. No one wants to accept this especially his Kids. Any advice.....?
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reader, xcharlottex  +, writes (17 June 2009):
I personally think age does matter. I'm only 18, but have alot of friends in their 20s 30s even 40s. Now, it really suprises people of their late 20s to 30s to learn I am more emotionally mature, I can control my emotions better, & I am more "clued on" when it comes to what to do and what not to do in realtionships and human behaviour in general, compared to them. But that's the thing, it IS a suprise, because everyone has their preconceived expectations from people of a certain age, gender, race. It is wrong that we have these expectations. But where do these expectations come from? past experience, situations setting these expectations out. So in a way they are right, because most people my age are very immature, I'm just the exception. That's why the "rules" are there, not for everyone, just for the majority. I, however, find a 26 year old and a 15 year old in a romantic relationship wrong. Not on your side, but he's 26, he should know better, can you imagine being in his shoes and justifying his actions? If it is true love, it can wait, true love asks for nothing in return, it'll wait.
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reader, countrygal462 +, writes (11 June 2009):
countrygal462 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks alot.
and thanks for the conversation about this. lol :)
you are a fun person to converse with. :)
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reader, QuirkLady +, writes (11 June 2009):
 No worries. Everybody makes mistakes! It wasn't hard to read at all :)
Also it's just my natural protective instinct to warn younger people against things that could hurt. I don't like to see people doing things that could hurt them and I get very defensive, LOL.
Another thing I thought of is that the consequences will be much worse for him if you're discovered. If you have sex and someone (it doesn't have to be a parent) calls the police, he will definitely go to jail and he knows this. I'd have a big problem dating anyone who was fine with doing something illegal as that's not the kind of value I want in my life.
I do hope everything works out for you. You seem like a decent young lady. Good luck!
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reader, countrygal462 +, writes (10 June 2009):
countrygal462 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry. i forget to check my spelling. thank you for that.
but what ive gone through, and how ive had to grow up, ive had to learn to harsh life that adults live. i know that younger people still have maturin to do. and i agree with that. i will admit i will also mature more as i get older, as will you and may other people in the world.
so i think, that if someone shows and proves that they are mature enough for this kind of relationship, they should be aloud to try and work it out. even if it doesnt last long, that person or persons should know the consequences if something were to happen to that relationship.
sorry if thats worded weird. please let me know if its hard to read.
Thanks.
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reader, QuirkLady +, writes (10 June 2009):
I appreciate that we are all treating each other with respect. However, I have to respectfully disagree with both your assertions that you're more mature than most people. That's a very myopic view since, statistically, you haven't met more than 0.0001% of the population and adulthood comes with a completely different frame of mind that you won't understand until you get there. It is truly the way of the world that you will come of age and see the difference, and that's why adults make age of consent laws. Think about the way you looked at the world when you were 8, just seven or eight years ago. Haven't you changed and grown since then? Would you have a relationship with an 8 year old, right now? You will go through the same leap in mental development between now and 21-22.
Of course, I know that you'll have to live and learn and discover this on your own. I hope that if you both are sexually active you are using protection 100% of the time.
Also, I'm sorry but this is a pet peeve of mine: the word is "insight", not "incite" as that means something completely different.
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reader, countrygal462 +, writes (9 June 2009):
countrygal462 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionm sry. i meant this as a scenario. im so used to saying i. im sorry for the misunderstanding.
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reader, countrygal462 +, writes (9 June 2009):
countrygal462 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto QuirkLady,i totally understand where you are coming from. and i do get that younger people are in a different stage of life, but from my personal life, what ive gone thru, im more mature than MOST people. cuz others..well..arent mature. but anyway..with time ive spent with him (the 26 year old), we are on the same mental level. im well educated for my age and i have alot of incite. but i totally respect your opinion because that is true in the mass majority of these situations.thanks so much. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): countrygal462 i thank you so much for writing this you are right age is a number EVEN if a minor is involved. as long as the minor has the maturity etc like you said and isnt just another immature brat. when i were 14 my boyfriend was 32 and all the guys i went with were over 30. no big deal i had the maturity iq and intellect and of course the whole truth that i hate or cant get along with anyone under 25/30 in the 1st place as i found myself a huge step above the rest in every aspect of life. once again thank you for this article!!! certain people need to know what they always conclude to is wrong and unfair x
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reader, QuirkLady +, writes (9 June 2009):
I personally think age gaps matter a great deal if one person involved is a minor. Even people over 21 struggle with dating someone who is at a different stage in their life, but it's nothing like an adult dating a minor.
I'm 32 now, and when I look back on my teenage years, I see that I have changed a tremendous amount. I thought I was incredibly mature for my age, but it turned out to be overconfidence. A smart older man could have manipulated me easily and I would have gone with it, thinking this was my own decision instead of something I was guided into. I grew and learned how to protect myself from people who wanted to control me.
In the case of a 15 year old and a 26 year old, I would question the 26 year old's motives. Most people date someone on their own mental level. I would wonder why the 26 year old finds a 15 year old's mental level to be the same as his. There's a hell of a lot of difference between the two:
The older person can't take the younger one out to a club or bar. The older person is in the working world (hopefully!) and the younger person's doing homework and worrying about prom. The older person worries about rent, voting, taxes; younger people have none of those worries. They are at totally different stages of life. I've also noticed that sometimes the older person tends to lose interest once the younger person ages, and finds an even younger replacement, because they can't deal with the younger person becoming an adult.
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