A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am on here to ask for advice and comments. I have a child by my man who is 30 years older than me. We have love for each other, however im not in love with him. I have cheated on him twice sexually and don't really regret it because he can't please me in that way. I know cheating isn't right but I couldn't help it, im young but not immature. I love his personality and he takes care of us but that's the problem. Sex isn't the world to me but I think two people should want to please each other.. including viagra which he says he doesn't need. What should I do? Is cheating wrong with one other person. Or should I just continue to not be happy?
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female
reader, Confused1970  +, writes (10 June 2009):
Does anyone stop to think that this man should make more effort to please his wife!! Yes he is older than her but he is not dead, there is a lot more to sex than just getting it on. This topic does hit close to home for me as I am also in a relationship with a middle aged man and he seems to think that it is ok to have sex once a month, this doesn't really work for me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): you are living proof of what a huge age gap does in a relationship. please if you do not want your husband just release him. do not torture him and make him miserable. at least respect him enough to end it and let him move on to a mature woman who will love him, respect him, honour him and someone who will remain faithful. you have no regret for your indedility since you believe you are owed sex, well then just move on. and allow this man to heal and get over a childlike wife. your childish whimms speaks volumes so please just divorce this man. then you can go out and f*ck anyone you may want.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Hmm well I`ll just say you are in the first twenty years of your life just beginning your adult life and he`s i`m guessing about 50 already about ten years away from being his end of life. He is already taking Viagra and you are young. I suggest as you are not in love with him leaving him. Cheating isnt right and you shouldnt stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy trust me I know. The best thing I can say is to leave him even if you have a child together and find someone to satisfy both your intimate and loving needs. You are young and you will find someone!
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A
male
reader, jj. +, writes (9 June 2009):
let him go and do it quick...your going to kill him if he finds out you cheated...and he will die by stroke and or heart attack ...your husband doesnt need to love you to death and then its over..you deserve what you need and so does he..he isnt reaching out and you are..realize you are to young and need someone your age..move on..sit down and
discuss it with him and then move on..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): from a guy...
Cheating is always wrong. Lying is always wrong.
Be creative, be honest, and make some choices.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): "I am young but not immature."
your words say otherwise.
To say that you know cheating is wrong but you couldn't help it does not exactly scream "wise beyond my years."
Firstly, you can help anything you do with our body. And secondly, a mature mind would resist temptation when in knowledge that the subject is wrong.
Cheating is called cheating for a reason. There is no right about it. Cheating is not a general definition of actions, but a definition of crossing a boudary that has been set. Unless your partner has told you that being with other men sexually is okay within your relationship, then it was cheating my dear.
Does what i'm saying make sense?
Some would say it's cheating to look at other people in a sexual manner (my husband and I) and some would say it's only cheating to kiss someone on the lips; you can have sex, but no kissing.
I would call both of these things unfaithful but others would not. You see? It depends on your relationship and how you two have personally defined cheating.
CHEATING is wrong though. However you have defined it.
I'm afraid there is no justification for what you've done so I would suggest confronting it instead of trying to make excuses for yourself.
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A
female
reader, LOML +, writes (9 June 2009):
 I think you should seperate and find somone who fit your needs and wants.. And you said it your self that your not in love with your husband anymore and your out cheating on him so what are you holding on to if there's nothing there?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): You have set restrictions on yourself when it comes to your personal happiness. You know cheating is wrong, therefore, your question is redundant.
It is cheating if your partner does not know about it and does not accept it. If your partner knows about it and accepts it, then that is mutual consent and not considered cheating.
If the problem with your partner is unresolvable, I would suggest you initiate a separation or divorce and seek out a partner that can satisfy your most basic necessities in an intimate relationship.
If your question has to do with seeking approval from strangers, you will most likely not receive such approval.
Partners may not make good lovers, but they can still make good parents. Staying together for the children can over time, cause further strain in the relationships.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 June 2009):
 I find you and your husband to be in very, very different stages of life. You're just beginning to live, and he's already a middle-aged man. While I don't think your cheating is right, I understand why it happened. I think he should be smart enough to understand that, too.
I think you need to think very carefully about what you will do. I don't think you can live a sexless life, while he thinks to seem that yes, you can.
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