A
male
age
36-40,
*dpurple
writes:I have to start by saying that i can't believe i'm doing this. But i can't sleep, so i need advices... I've been with this girl for almost a year now. And we love each other so much and want to have a future together. But as with any relationship we have our fights. She was misbehaving lately and kept bitching about me spending more time lately with one of my buddies playing tennis. But i just wanted to get in shape and i told her that, but she wouldn't understand. And i kept playing tennis and we got in a fight and we didn't talk for a week. And during this week she went out with her co-workers, she had a few drinks( she didn't get drunk though cause she was able to drive!) she flirted with a guy and he offered to walk her to her car and once there they started kissing. She says that she stopped kissing him at some point because she realised it's not what she wanted. That she wanted me. The guy she kissed knew she had a boyfriend ( me ) and she also knew that that guy had a pregnant wife. And they all work together. And still they did what they did! Also to be known that two months ago she told me she has an admirer at work and that if I mistreat her i would push her in his arms! And i told her to stop flirting with guys or something bad is gonna happen. She admitted to me all this and i didn't break up with her because i love her so much and i know she loves me too. Now she is trying to win my trust once again, but this feeling is eating me alive from the inside and i keep thinking about it all the time... I really need your advice!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): she is not just cheating on you, but also cheating on you with a married man. do you really want this person in your life? is she worth it. NO. why confront the married guy, she is the one giving him the come on. she is the one entertaining herself with him. she is the one you should be angry with, she is playing you and she doesn't care if she hurts you in the process. the enemy i not this other man, it is the one in your bed- meaning your gf. its time to put out the trash, and your gf with it. she is messing you up and she is not a keeper. trust , what trsut. she wouldn't know about trust issues if it hit her in the face, she messed up, knowingly. she mad out with this other man knowingly. no body forced her, she did it all on her own. her behaviour speaks volumes. what can she offer you. Nothing, but heartache and pain. that mans wife is pregnant for goodness sake, yet she is getting her paws into him. your gf is just a player herself and she just played you. this gf has made you feel inadequate. she is telling you you are not enough for her, so why waste your time on a good for nothing?
Holidad's comments makes good sense. run, very fast, get away from her, she spells trouble. cut her off from your life, she will not change.
A
male
reader, holikdad +, writes (29 June 2009):
At some point you will have to realize that your GF is more trouble than she's worth. Unless she's rich or has some other appeal that another woman won't then I say get rid of her.It sounds as if you fight a lot, and that's not good in a relationship nor can it be giving you a stress free life.Think hard about the turmoil she is putting you through then.....RUN FORREST, RUN!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): Thank you guys for taking the time to read about my issue! The thing is i'm thinking about going to her work and confront the guy and see what he has to say. As i said i can't trust her anymore and i need to find out more about it. Would that be wise? Would that help me in any way?
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A
female
reader, jaime90  +, writes (29 June 2009):
 are you giving the full story here? Seems to me like your dulling down your behaviour. And i say this because my bf is the same. We had a fight a few months ago and didnt talk for a week, i went out with my friends but i did not cheat on him. I had such low self esteem from how things had been between us and i did find myself talking to guys and i wouldnt have normally. My bf was treating me like absolute crap then, and he was pushing me away. If he didnt work on his jealousy and trust issues we would not be together now, he is now going to therapy because of it. Im not saying it was right what gf did but i think your dulling down your input to the situation
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A
male
reader, joe26  +, writes (29 June 2009):
 if i was in your situation, i would leave her alone and move on. nobody like to play game when come to relationship...she has cheated on you and probably planning to attempt again if you pick couple of fights.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (29 June 2009):
 well she shouldn't tell you she has an admirer at work because that there will obviously make you jealous and then for her to tell you that if you keep pushing her away she'll be pushed into his arms?
that's not on.
look this feeling is eating you up you need to tell her outright. i mean i don't think there is anyway she can earn your trust back after that.
she clearly doesn't respect you that much to go and do that for a start and then threaten you by saying you're pushing her into this other guys arms.
you're not doing anything of the sort she's doing all this on her own nothing to do with you.
she needs to sort out what she wants and you need to realise whether this is the relationship you want hun.
it's not fair on you.
Hope this helps
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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A
female
reader, BusDriver +, writes (29 June 2009):
 You want advises - so I am going to give you some advises -
Do you like DRAMA? How about SOAP OPERAS? Do you have a deep desire to star in a drama or soap opera? If the answer is 'no', then GOT OUT! It is time to move on and find someone who enjoys a peaceful, loving relationship as much as you do. It sounds like your girlfriend is playing games on you. You cannot 'push' her into someone else's arms - unless ahe wants to go there!
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