A
male
age
,
*rangekid
writes:Hi,My girlfriend and I have split up. We were very close. When I was away in France recently she had an affair with an old friend. When she told me, she was so sorry, and I thought we might have had a chance, but a few days later, she rang me and told me that she had decided to go with her friend because he had always been special to her. I was devastated and for two days I tried to recover. I emailed her and sometimes she responded and I text her as well. Then she completely ignored me, blocked me on facebook and refused to speak to me on the phone. Last night, I am ashamed to say, I lost my temper and just inundated her with texts in the hope of getting a response. Nothing.I can't understand why in two days she has completely changed like this. we had always been so close. I wanted to talk to her because I wanted to remain friends with her and I know she wanted to do that also. I can't understand it. I felt like I had done something awful to her.Can you help me understand?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 November 2010):
I'm afraid when it comes down to it, the reason she can move on so quickly is that she was always into this friend more than you. Which is pretty dreadful. I think she's like him for a long time, and took the chance to do what she did knowing it might lead somewhere. It has, and she has cut contact because she wants both you and her to move on. In my opinion, this has shown her up for what she really is. Not all that great. She was always into this other guy and knew it, and she cheated on you.
Trust me, you're better off without her. You didn't do a thing to her, and you haven't been awful. This is about one woman who has mislead you and hurt you. Not the other way around.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (18 November 2010):
 Sadly she has moved on. Despite how close you were, she may be one of those people who can just move on to the next best thing and never look back. I know that sounds bad but people do it all the time.
The reason she is ignoring you is because she probably knows she has hurt you and she doesn't want to see it. It may make her feel guilty and interfere with her new relationship.
Bombarding her with texts and messages is just going to give her a reason to think your nuts and that she has made a good decision to move on.
The best you can do is accept that she's gone and start to get over her.
Staying friends is probably not an option for either of you at this point as when one person still has deep feelings for the other, it's like rubbing salt in the wound. Do you really want to be in contact with her and hear about how happy she is with someone else?...probably not.
I sympathise with you. I have been there myself and I know it's unbearable, but unless your plotting revenge (which is dumb and stupid)you need to move on as quickly as you can.
best of luck.
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