A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:About one month ago I met a really nice woman online. We hit it off and have been writing several e-mails daily. I lead her to believe I also wanted to eventually become more than just her friend. Now she insists on getting together but I now feel different. I don't want to hurt her and I don't wan't to loose her. I'm confused about what I should do!! She stated that she wats us to spend some time together. I am weak when it comes to pretty women. Should I just be sincere and dissregard her feelings as well as mine? I think I'm falling for her but I love being single. Please help!! 1]-how and what should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): Just be honest and tell her you are a bit confused.
You might like to think how you would feel if she cut contact, as she might get fed up if you leave it too long. Then decide whether to meet her. Just because you meet doesn't mean you have to take it any further.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): You need to just be open with her. You two can still be friends and still get together. You should just tell her you arent ready for a relationship just yet. You do care about her and appreciate being with her and talking to her, but you want more time to figure things out and how you truly feel about a commitment. You two can get together and spend some time together just as friends and then maybe the more time you spend, the more you will fall for her and decide you really do want to be with her. If not, you have to open up and tell her how you feel. If you dont want a relationship and just want to be her friend, then let her know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): if you love being single than just stay single and don't play w/ anybodies feelings and time. What are you doing leading women on at your age?Or be honest upfront and tell her:I really like you right now but it doesn't stay w/me, This what I do my wholle life :I sleep w/women and then drop them. If you are up to it and want sex then let's do it and get it over with."That would be honest, but pretty much hopeless to get any.I bet women who get involved w/you can't avoid being hurt and devastated at the end. That's sooo much fun to stay single never growing up,moving from one woman to another,leaving broken hearts behind. Wonderfull life without any responsibility for anyone.
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (6 September 2009):
Look man if you like her stop with the whole "you like being single" routine. Your over 40 years old. If you have feelings for her go for it. You could end up having the time of your life. If you find her to be a beautiful woman than your case to go for it is even stronger. Just do it. However, if your feeling is more that you don't want to give up being "single" than you have to let her go. It is selfish to say you don't want to lose someone if you know you won't return thier feelings. They have feelings too and hanging onto them even though you know you can't fullfill them is wrong.
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A
female
reader, MissesConfused +, writes (6 September 2009):
There's going to be pain no matter what; it's kinda inevitable if you've been leading her on and then suddenly changed her mind. Tell her the truth and just be there for her if/when she ends up being hurt. That's the only way you can prove to her that you still want her in your life.Also, you claim that you're starting to fall for her, yet you like being single. I won't assume to know the situation there, but it seems like she's more than just a pretty face if you feel so strongly. I just hope you don't turn down something that could be real for the both of you.Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 September 2009):
 Tell the truth.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): Tell her exactly what you have told us and talk. x
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