A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A girl proposed me 7 months ago and told me that she has a crush on me since 2 years. As i dont want to break her heart so i replied YES as my answer to her. So then we started texting each other till late nights. I only have a physical attraction on her and nothing else. So then it carried on and then she started irritating me by talking about marriage and she used to care me a lot which i did not like. Then friends she called me on phone one day and then i told her to come to my house as i have to talk to her. Actually i called her to my home as i could clear the matter between us and as there was no one in my home that day. She arrived to my home by telling lies to her mother. We than talked and then i dont know what happened to me i asked kiss from her and then later we had sex. Now i regret for my deed commited that day because after that she is further more attracted towards me. Now iam very much irritated of her talks as she always talks about our marriage and future life. All that i thought of her i reached to a conclusion that she is just mad about me. So i want to have breakup with her without hurting her. What to do?Please help.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your support but actually i didnt have any intention to hurt her. It just happened!!
Now i just want to get out of all this mess as soon as it is possible.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (4 March 2012):
 Sorry OP, you cannot break up with her without hurting her nor is she going to let go of you that easily. Everything was fine till she had sex, and given the cultural context of India, sex in a relationship is still viewed as a huge step by many.
You cannot have your cake and eat it too. You had sex with her even though you had no intentions of taking anything further, what did you expect, she would just leave you alone after the incident? Of course she talks about marriage, if anything, in her head she's already married to you!
Tell her the truth and hope she takes it well, but be prepared to be hauled over the coals. There is no easy way of getting out of this mess.
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A
female
reader, Rozet  +, writes (4 March 2012):
 You really messed up...Well I think you should tell her that you appreciate her feelings toward you but your love to her is subsiding and you can't lie to yourself and date someone you don't love anymore. Also include if she really does love you she would respect your decision and that you can't control your feelings toward her.
Now depending on the type of person she is, would be how she replies to this. Some drama might happen like she would say something like "Why did you do something 'that night' if you didn't feel anything for me anymore, and what am I to you, some sex doll?!" Just a lil heads up about the reaction she might get. No matter how you dump her she might have that reaction because you DID have sex with her.
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (4 March 2012):
 Hi,
To be quite straightforward with you, you have called this on yourself and behaved in a less than honourable way to be fair. You knew fully well that you were not into this girl before and yet you still said yes you wanted to marry her. She obviously is very much in love with you and her feelings have grown based on your apparent interest in her. No one says yes to marriage USUALLY if they are not in love with someone. And then you went on to lead her on further by being intimate physically with her....really what were you thinking?
This isn't rocket science. There is no way to break up gently with her. She is already quite smitten with you. What I suggest you do is please be very honest with her and upfront...you must apologise to her...tell her how sorry you are for what you are going to tell her. Let her know that you answered too quickly when she asked you to marry her. Tell her that you are not attracted to her for a long term committment and unfortunately, marriage will not be something that you would be interested in with her.
But please be honest this time....don't invite her over and then sleep with her again...it isn't fair on her, her heart or anything. What gentlemen such as yourself don't understand is that when you do rubbish like this, it ruins a girl's heart for life. She won't look at love the same, won't trust the same and will view ALL men in line with what you have demonstrated to her.
It is quite a quandary you have found yourself in, but I am hoping that you will tell her the truth. There is no easy way to do it.
Good Luck...use better judgement next time.
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