A
female
age
30-35,
*occergirl15
writes:ok so i fell in love with this girl.. shes 19 and lives in tx, still with her parents and im 14 and live in illinois.. we met online, not looking for relationships or anything, i was bi curious and she was just straight. so we talked for awhile, we started talking on the phone and we could go for hours. i loved hearing her voice and just everything about her. i told her that im in love with her and she said she loved me too so we dated for awhile.. we've had such intelligent conversations and we are veryyy physically attracted to each other. about like a month ago she told me she wanted to end up with a guy because she was raised catholic and it was a sin to be gay. it broke my heart but we still talked.. nothing had changed, we had phone sex, still talked every night, still sent dirty pictures to each other. the whole thing about it being a sin faded out sort of and then the real issue she was having was her parents accepting her with a girl. they're a very rich family and very close and very religious and very about reputation. i didnt care, it was up to her, i'd always be here for her and everything. and i'm still going to say i love her and going to want everything to be the same. now let me add that me and her have been talking for like 9 months, and i've told my best friend about her and how she broke my heart and how im bi. just last night nikki (ex gf that im still in love with) was being a bitch and i was sick of it. so i said im leaving, i blocked you on myspace, i've deleted all your photos, i dont want to text or talk on the phone. she died, she was crying telling me how much she loved me and how she needs me. and how shes not even sure if shes just bi, she thinks shes completely gay now. and shes coming here next summer to chicago which is 30 mins away from where i live. and she wanted to see me. shes just so scared of telling her parents. i wish i just could trust her that she'd want to be with me once im out of highschool but shes still unsure about telling her parents. and everytime i want to leave and not talk to her anymore she becomes so sweet. i feel like im getting played. i dont know if i should keep talking to her or not. i love her with everything i have but shes been such a bitch to me lately. what do u think of this situation? how do u think i could make this better? and tell me what you think of this situation in general?
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female
reader, Cyg79 +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Wow, that is quite the story.I’ll just offer some thoughts that popped into my head when reading it. On one hand it sounds as if she may just be needy, on the other hand it could be confusion. But in either case it’s unfair to you to put your life on hold. At times it’s hard to reach out to people in our real life, so we find strong connections online, that feel a lot like something. Online allows a degree of safety, and allows us to explore avenues of possibilities without them interfering with our everyday life. (I have a secret, shhh.) Or maybe it’s just an escape from real life. You can’t fix her problem with her religion and parent conflicts. She must come to a decision about those. (I would not want to hide anything about my love, whether it is from god or my family, and I could settle for nothing less from the one I love.) I can only wonder if it’s not those issues, then what other issue might take its place. You must decide what you want from life, love, and friendship. I would, be a friend, but free my heart. In the end be true to yourself, and you’ll come out all right.
A
female
reader, Happivibes  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Hi, I think you must be feeling pretty awful you poor thing. Growing up is painful and the strength of your emotions can be overwhelming.
Ok, if someone is treating you badly (and she is sweetie) you have a duty to protect yourself and stand up and be counted.
Tell her that you care very much but you will not have your head fried by her wobbling all over your feelings. She is older and has a responsibility to be kind and respectful to you.
Sever contact and let her feel life without you in it, then maybe in a couple of weeks drop a general text/email...just hi, thinking about you and wondering how you are doing? See hoe she responds. she sounds spoilt and selfish to me to be honest:)
I know you are hurting but it will only get worse, and you you will set a pattern of accepting bad behaviour from lovers and friends. you are a wonderful person and she has taken advantage of your affections and innocence in many ways.
love is a joyful thing, ask yourself where is the joy in this and remember that people always want something they cant have. let her know she cant be part of your life on these terms. if it is meant to be she will change her behaviour.
look after yourself, see friends, watch tv, change your hair, makeup, clothes, listen to music, write out your thoughts and feelings, get moving...dance a little, imagine when you do these things that she can see you being out there, being happy, love your self.
any other help, just ask,
sending you happy vibes to light your way. x
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