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male
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anonymous
writes: my girlfriend has confessed to me that she wants to see other people because she has been with me and only me for 4 years.she was 14 when we met and now she is 18.it has been very difficult because she has confessed to making out with a guy in a bathroom and secretly talking to a next guy.she now treats me like crap, constantly lies to me and she seems to not expect me to get mad at all.i dont know what to do because she says she loves me but she is constantly making ''mistakes''and uses us being together for so long as a excuse. i never cheat on her evn tho i had many opportunities. what should i do?
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female
reader, andrea23 +, writes (7 October 2006):
 how can she love you if she's with other men? my advise to you is get out of that relationship now & let her run with all the men she wants because she doesnt love you, is she loving you when she's with other men? no dont think so! you should move on & meet a nice girl who will be yours & yours alone.
A
female
reader, amerthyst0202  +, writes (6 October 2006):
 move on find someone else, some one who values you and your relationship and if she is making out with other guys and you keep letting her get away with it she wont stop cos every time you forgive. ask yourself would she forgive you if you went in the bathroom with another girl no she would go beserk and it would be all your fault dont be adoor mat find some one new
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): all really helpful advice. and yes she considered the sexiest girl where i live.and i am an attractive guy too or so i have heard and thats why it hurts more because other women or attracted to me but i love her.i have been trying to rekindle that spark. i send her flowers at work. i take her her out to dinner. i send her text messages sayin how much i love her.and then everything would be great and she seems happy and cant keep her hands off of me but then i find out from her or a friend that she was being really nasty on a dancefloor with some guy or she still constantly compares me to the jerks at her job. apart from being together for so long, she says that i have no ambition because i didnt have a job at the time. which is not true. the only available work here right now is construction and i'm not about to do that. i am working as a professional photographer now, i make music for local artists to sing on,i am good at art,i'm really good at computers, guess u can say i'm kind of like a cool nerd, if there is such a thing. i think her problem is that she knows i am faithful to her and i treat her really good and she knows the type of jerks she messes around with dont really care about anything but gettin into her pants. she knows this for a fact but it seems she wants to experience these things...she once told me she wonders about going out and just having sex with a random guy in a bathroom at a club.and then whenever i get mad at the stuff she does she uses my anger against me and says that i am sick and jealous for no reason.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): My pal at university was with his childhood sweetheart since they were 14, they both lost their virginity to each other and, for a while, were happy. His girlfriend cheated on him later when they were 17 and it devastated him. He knew she was interested in other guys, and did not truely want to commit to him, but sadly they remained in a relationship for a further 3 years before they eventually ended it because he just couldn't accept that there are other women and other relationships awaiting him out there that would be far better for him.
For those three years my friend was consumed by distrustive, ego-destroying thoughts and, I'm sure, his girlfriend too, was not happy.
After they eventually broke up, he was a new man. He had learnt a big lesson about himself, his girlfriend, his relationship and eventually went on to meet another girl and two years later they are still very happy together.
Maybe you could try and imagine, in your mind, how life will be like with a girl you know is going with other guys and who wouldn't put your feelings first.
Then, imagine what it would be like to be a girl who was devoted, faithful, showed you love, respected you and never wanted to hurt you. Which life would do you want because it is through your decisions only that determine how your life does turn out.
All the best
Peter
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): obviously she does Love you. Shes just not "in Love with you" that "in love" feeling has faded which is normal so I have to say She is right on this one I know its tough but Its human biology when your with someone for a long time that "Spark" graduly fades Now what Im going to sugest to you Is find a way to renew that spark! If you've been together all that time chances are shes going to take you for granted and think about it is there times you've taken her for granted? go for a meal tell her how much she means to you dont nag her But make it clear your diffrent act cool dont go on about the subject or she'll hurt you more to wined you up cos she knows she can but drop in to the conversation if she starts talking about other guys say "if a another guy can steel a girl away from me he can have her cos I wouldnt want her anymore" She'll get the message and good luck!
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A
female
reader, sleepysly +, writes (6 October 2006):
 hi, it seems to me that you are a pushover she must know this and is taking full advantage,you have a straying girlfriend who will lie my friend remember that aids cannot be cured, think of yourself and leave her to live with her own stupidity. oh if you cant manage that remember to use condoms, they can stop germs and a pregnancy that would be a mistake,you cant bring a child into your world of confussion. good luck
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A
female
reader, Nay920 +, writes (6 October 2006):
if i were you i would leave her alone how can she say she loves you if she constantly keeps doing things to hurt you you should tell her how you feel and what she is doing is hurting you and if she continues to do it t you should move on i know its going to be hard but you will get through it and i will be here for you if you need me.
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