A
male
age
36-40,
*aulforan11
writes:So I been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half and recently moved down to Las Vegas to start a life. Ever since we have been down here I have seen a 180 out of her. She holds an attitude constantly doesn't want me near her and we've had sex 3 times in 2 months. She says she is depressed and treats me like this cause she is. But everytime I talk to her she gets really mad and wants me to leave her alone and it ends up making us more distant. The more I try to be good to her and help her the more she wants to be away. She tells me she loves me but has an odd way of showing it. I love this girl a lot and need some advice to help me fix things.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Set her up an appointment at a therapist. If she is depressed she needs to treat herself to get better, sitting at home blaming you for all her depression isn't gonna work.
I think that it is true that she is going through some rough emotional problems right now. It is hard to know how to deal with these things though, but I think the best approach for you is to be more strict and stern with her. Tell her you love her and want to be with her, but that you will now take control over the situation and not let her continue as she does, because it will ruin the relationship. She might get mad, but you need to be able to talk about this. She also needs to get herself to therapy, or get in control of her emotions again. Put down the line, don't allow more attitude from her. Don't get mad, just don't sit and tolerate it if she talks you down or offends you. Just because she is depress does not give her a right to disrespect you. So don't allow her. Perhaps she is feeling very lost now with the new situation, and needs someone to take control for her.
I mean you tried being nice and patient with her, and so far no result. Try a different approach. Like with children, comfort her and love her, but don't allow just about any type of behavior. If she has an attitude for no reason, she needs to take responsibility for her behaviour and apologize.
But, if you can, I highly recommend she goes to talk to a professional. They are not there only for the severe cases of personality disorders. They are there to help perfectly normal people who encounter problems in their lives.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 She could be depressed. For some people moving and starting a new life is an exciting adventure- for others is just scary, disruptive,disquieting, and leads to maladjustment ( being unable to adjust properly to the enviroment,with resulting emotional instability ).
Talk to her, try to find out if this is an adjustment problem. In this case, encourage her to seek counseling, and help her in getting new friends or a more active social life. Encourage her in pursuing her passions and interests. Tell her that you'll support her in overcoming her difficulties - and that you'll trust she will cooperate too. After all, if she is miserable, it's not making you miserable too that she'll feel any better.
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A
male
reader, jimrich +, writes (13 September 2010):
My advise is: google: relationship tips and get started learning how to communicate better, solve problems, deal with inadequate behavior, keep love alive and growing, stay best friends & lovers, and a lot of other things that we all need to learn and practice to make a relationship work well.
good luck
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