A
male
age
36-40,
*rgetlam1
writes:I have been in a relationship with a girl one year younger to me and we have been talking for 4 months. i would like stating beforehand that this is a long distance relationship and we have met only once. She starts with her university in a day's time and knowing that she will be getting busy, i wanted to talk really long tonight. What turned out instead was a total unkeenness on her part and she just slept off saying that she needs to get up for college tomorrow. She realised that she had annoyed me and told me not to be. But, at the same time, when i put it in words how i was feeling at the moment because of her behavior, she told me that she is not understanding what i am saying and will talk to me tomorrow. Am i being to demanding when i am expecting her to stay up just one night because now on we will have very restricted time together?
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long distance, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Ahh I am so pleased.
I wasn't trying to be horrible by saying yes you were being unreasonable but I fel that honesty is the best policy.
Your own inner self made you realise what this girl means to you and by backing off she has come forward and things are on track for you both.
Couldn't be happier for you both.
Take care.
COuntry Woman
A
male
reader, argetlam1 +, writes (18 July 2007):
argetlam1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi
Somehow instinct overruled and i did all that you guys wrote even before reading your replies. The good thing is that everything is sorted out. And i had my b'day and we met up (at her college) and also kissed. Good thing i muself realised i was being stupid. Am meeting her again in a few days time.
Thx for the help.
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Hi there babes,
I know its hard for you as you probably want to say so much to her, but she isn't being nasty to you in anyway she knows she has a long day and is probably very nervous about the whole thing....
She is starting a very important chapter in her life and she needs her own time and space right now especially when she will be studying to better her future and possibly your future too, who knows??
You need to understand your girlfriends needs at the moment, don't put any pressure on her babes she doesn't need that she needs an understanding partner who is with her on this...
She will call you babes when she has the time in the mean time just text her tell her you love her and are thinking of her, wishing her luck of course and you understand, this will be the best thing to put a big smile on her face so go for it babes,
Good luck
Love Donna x
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (16 July 2007):
Yes you are being unreasonable.
This girl is trying to prepare herself for university and doesn't know what to expect.
She wants to feel fresh for her first day and as this is a long distance relationship there should be respect on your part for her expressing this.
Being angry with her when you are not even going out with her is no way to engratiate yourself to her so calm down and see it from her point of view. You have only seen her once so it is not like it is a hot relationship right now.
Imagine yourself on the brink of something new and exciting and all you want to do is to feel prepared for what could be a very taxing and tiring day - not knowing what to expect and maybe walking miles just to find classrooms etc. You would want your privacy the night before and not being hassled by a girl you are not even going out with.
If you start putting this girl under pressure now don't be surprised if she looks to other males around her instead of you as they will respect her and know how much hard work she needs to put in to make a success of her education. She has got to university and that must have been a struggle so she doesn't want to blow it now, in the same way that if the shoe was on the other foot neither would you if you had the same opportunity.
If I was you I would reply saying I was sorry for hassling her but you miss her and want to get to know her better and was just frustrated that you couldn't talk before she starts at uni, you also don't want her to forget you either, just be honest, she will respect you more for that than anger and accusations that she is not giving you enough attention.
Perhaps send her a good luck card or a good luck charm if money allows as she can keep this with her forever.
Best of luck eh.
BFN
Country Woman
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