A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I spoke with my GF recently about fantasies we shared some. She has known for sometime I want to have anal sex, however, I absolutely respected her choice not to. Fine, not a huge deal, as a relationship is caring about your partner not forcing them to do painful things.Strangely, she takes more and more interest in anal stimulation. I finger her anus and have had multiple fingers in there, obviously started small with 1 knuckle pinky penetration to full finger penetration.She orgasms like crazy when I finger her anus, more than she ever had by oral before. Only problem is, the oral orgasms were long and sustained, these are quick and uncontrollable, almost too fast.Technically I know we are having "anal sex", but I am yet to fullfill my desires, which I understand I may never, out of respect for her. But it just seems she is enjoying so much that think she really will love it IF we can get past the first couple of times. I don't want to submerse her too fast, so I start commenting on how sensitive she is back there and how much power her orgasms are in comparison to before. I try to introduce new ideas to stimulation, hoping it may incrementally build her up to trying anal sex. But as of now, she seems totally content with fingering being the extent.I can still live without, so I am not really trying to pressure her, just seems like the look on her face says take my anus, but the words say no. Do you follow your head or your gut on this matter?
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male
reader, joiney  +, writes (13 March 2010):
If she enjoys you fingering her analy and has an orgasm when doing so then you are a lucky guy as I don't think the vast majority of woman would like it, maybe you could buy an anal probe or small vibrator, my partner likes anal fun mow and again but only when she is in the mood, don't try to pressure her into it, and when you do give it a go make sure you use plenty of lube and be gentle.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010): I agree with the other guys on here, my wife has never really been into anal and I admit its not really a big deal for me either. Still, just to spice it up a bit we've agreed on 1 month a year when we have anal once or twice (October as it happens).
If you do it properly its not painful at all (or so says the wife) but you've really got to get her in the mood and for her to be relaxed. Keep doing what you're doing but you can also suggest that she tries it on her own with a dildo, that way there isn't the added pressure of you in the picture and she can take it as slow as she wants to.
The orgasms from anal are supposed to be amazing!
Oh and its just fair to get as well as you give - in order to convince my wife to try it the first time I had to take one up the pooper as well.... not my manliest hour but we have a great laugh about it now...
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 March 2010):
 Are you sure you can count on that look? My boyfriend always tried but I stopped him because it hurt too much. I let him go the whole way while I was relaxed but it still hurt. I asked him why he wants to do it and he said he thought it would bring me more pleasure.
I saw some porn documentary on girls doing anal sex. They suffer from anal incontinence and had to do surgeries to tighten up.
Sometimes I feel like I want it too. I love pleasing my boyfriend and test my courage. Until I think about the consequences.
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A
male
reader, uncutdan +, writes (11 March 2010):
 Hey Buddy,
Anal is not painful if its done right. First you are working her up to it with your finger, use lots of lube, Next slip a couple fingers in and get her used to that. If you go ramming things in when the person isn't relaxed, thats when it hurts. When she trusts you enough and is comfortable enough and you got all five fingers in, she'll be ready for the big bang. Orgasms are intensified by anal stimulation in men too especially when you rub the prostate. Be open minded, trust me you'll love it. Who knows let her stick a finger or two up your 6 and she might be more receptive to you doing more with hers!
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (11 March 2010):
 I think you just need to be patient keep doing what you already know that she enjoys. Continue with the fingering just like usual. I think that she wants to its just that she is nervous. If she has your support and not a constant asking preasure I think that she will choose to do it for you because she will fully trust you and herself to comfort her that everything will be ok. Until then there is really no point anyway because if she is so nervous there is no way that she would enjoy it as much as she probably will when it happens later on.
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