A
male
age
36-40,
*uke57
writes: My girl friend and I get into fights constantly over communicating. So usually we text each other to find out when each other is free slash what each other's plans are for the day/evening. Of course, both of us don't have our cell phones on us 24/7 or sometimes we're in meetings and don't immediately respond, or just didn't notcie that we got a text.If she doesn't reply to me within some period of time - like half an to hour - then I call her to see what's up.HOWEVER, when she texts me and I don't respond (because I didn't notice the text or for whatever reason) she just stops texting me. Doesn't bother sending me another text or calling me an hour or two later or anything like that. So when I finally do see the text and call her back, it's already too late and she says oh you just didn't want to hang out with me and that's why you didn't respond.I've told her a thousand times, to just call me if I don't get back to her but she never does. She gives me some excuse like, "oh no, I know you're in a meeting so I don't want to bother you," or "no I know you don't want to hang out with me so I just don't bother." She just seems to "test" me repeatedly to see if I will instantly get back to her or not. How can I make her understand that all she needs to do is CALL ME and then there won't be a problem??
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): seems like you both need to trust a bit more. And negotiate a little better. And maybe sort out some communication ground rules, so you don't get into lame silly disputes. And she's not 'testing' you. She's treating you the way she thinks is appropriate. If i got a reminder message for not promptly answering a text i would be most impressed at the impatience of the person calling me.
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