A
male
age
30-35,
*rBrightside90
writes:Hey everyone,I'm really really confused right now, and kind of sad. I havent cried in over 2 years but I really feel broken right now.I'm kind of friends with my ex-girlfriend right now. She has a lot going on in her life (eating disorders, etc.) and at times she is very affectionate and shares a lot with me and we have long phone talks and we go watch movies etc. But last two weeks she is very distant, keeps telling me that she is busy.I tried calling her like 4 times in 2 days, (Didnt hear from her for like 2 weeks), then today on IM she kept telling me that I smother her, that I whine too much, and that she cant deal with my problems right now. I'm really flabbergasted, I dont know what to think, what to do, I'm just really sad. I'm a really happy person when around people, very social. But when I'm with her , I do like to open up and talk (thing that I dont do with friends, and I mean real talking with things that bother me in life, directions in life etc.) But today she literally called me a burden.Any thoughts on this :/ ?My only thought right now is, I would want to share my love and life with someone that really deserves it, but I still do care about her.Thanks alot,Lots of love, Mr brightside
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): hey im a scottish lass in england... umm im a person to say what i feel and what is on my ind ts quite bad sometime but hey im respected for i think lol...
right lol
1. She is dealing with her own problems right now understandable.. but in a way im sure she knows your there for her but she obviously doesnt wanna feel open..
2. she shouldnt use your problems against you it isnt fair.. dont let feeling sorry for her cloud your judgement its no reason to make you feel bad.. when she is in the rough herself..
3. shes your ex.. do you have new gf? if not then you need to figure out what you wanna do cause this will prevent you moving on and finding someone else..
4. dont take offence please but you need to put yourself first and tel her straight tell exactly how you feel cause it will give you closure and it may help her to think ive got someone here who cares abt me and i cannot push him away
there you go sorry if im a sod.. if youve got it sorted then well done you if you havent i wish ya the best :) xx
A
male
reader, MrBrightside90 +, writes (29 June 2010):
MrBrightside90 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks for all the great replys,
Yeah I probably should just give her some space, Although she initiated contact a few months ago, after not talking with her for a few months.
She kept telling me how she was much worse off without me and how she missed me, and now all of the sudden she tells me that Im a burden.
Its just hard, in my book she lost alot of credibility, a few weeks ago she told me that I was the most important person in her life, after her mom. But I dont believe that anymore.
anyway thanks alot guys and gals
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A
male
reader, gmoney  +, writes (29 June 2010):
First of all bro u said she is ur ex girl, shes an ex for a reason. Leave her alone if it didnt work before, its def not gonna work now all of a sudden. Esp if shes sayin ur smothering her, its sounds easy to say but its hard. U can do it tho! U say ur social so go out n meet sum new ppl n try sum new things youll hav fun !
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A
female
reader, babygirl17 +, writes (29 June 2010):
all i can really tell you is i wih my ex was as sweet as that, but some people dont like it if your not together anymore. so many be try to call every once in a while and tell her that your always there if she wants to call you just try to give her some space cause thats what it seems like she wants right now. hope everything works out for you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): She isn't pushing you away because you smother her, but because people with problems as severe as an eating disorder often resort to being less than nice to push people away they care about. It can be for reasons that they don't feel worthy of your love and care or even that they are in such a dark place in their own mind that they find it hard to communicate with others. it sounds like if things were fine and she's recently turning like this then something is going wronger in her life than it was before. I know you can't force her to talk to you, but the best way to go would be upfront about how you feel and see if there's a deeper reason as to why she tells you, "you're a burden". Most likely, there will be.
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A
female
reader, tamara_r +, writes (29 June 2010):
 I know how you feel. If anything out of this ordeal your lucky that person said something instead of blowing you off never to be heard from and not know why. It seems to me like she just wants someone there to vent and hangout with as a friend. Its possible she feels that she needs to get herself in order and doesnt want to feel as if someone else os depending on her, adding to her things to worry about. Im sure deep down she cares (hopefully). Worst case scenerio would be her wanting your attention when she wants it. (Ive come to hear about this scenerio from one of my guy friends, but Im sure this isnt always the case.) Only you know her so I can only give so much advice or options why she says or does what she does, being a girl myself.. Wish you all the best! Hang in there. ;)
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A
female
reader, ctds001  +, writes (29 June 2010):
Hi honey,
She is not coping with life and is lashing out on her nearest and dearest.
For now any new problems be it her's or yours are too much for her.
Give her some space, she just needs to see there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Remember she is your Ex, maybe you should be putting your time and energy into finding a new partner!
Good Luck x
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A
female
reader, ethealda +, writes (28 June 2010):
 sounds like to me she just wants a brake from the world. thats us girls for you. if you want to help rent her fave movie grab her fave snack and drop them by her door with a note. Say a little somthing about how you understand she needs her space for a little and that you will be there for her when she needs you just a messeg away. End the note with a forever your dear careing friend and then your name. she will fill better after a good day or maybe a few weaks away from people. Everyone needs a brake from the world and best things girls do is dissaper for a little while. If your still looking for the right girl but still care for your ex then dont look for the right girl yet your not ready. The next girl your with if you make a move befor your ready will seance this and be distant. If it helps take a little brake yourself and spend a night in. mite event help you understand what your ex is filling just a little.
Best of luck hun!!!
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