A
female
age
30-35,
* am Othello
writes:I'm just a sixteen year old girl, who's had all the chances in the WORLD to have a great, fun relationship - yet I still can't even say a simple 'yes' to a guy who asks me out?! I'm not the prettiest of girls - but I'm quirky and fun, and if I might add interesting. But what is wrong with me that I can't seem to get a relationship going? Am I too immature? Am I scared of committment? I don't know! I mean, I can cross of the first option, I am not immature, I am a hard worker and treat teachers and my parents with respect and I am bright and want to help people...but is it the committment thing?I constantly feel the need for a loving partner, so how could I possibly feel scared? I WANT a relationship. I'm a bit of a flirt I admit, but I never give off the wrong signals! I try I do, but sometimes I get nervous if I like someone, but if I know them well I'm not usually shy. I am confident if I believe they like me too - but not so confident that I scare them off...I don't think. I've had lots of guys ask me out - to the cinema, on dates, meals etc. But...but I avoid it. I guess I am scared...but I don't know why. If I knew the reason I could stop it and finally get on with it! Of course I don't want just 'sex' and stuff.....when I see a couple hug or show real love my heart aches for the same thing. Maybe that's why I don't go out with guys, because they don't seem the right one - but what if they are all the right ones?! Oh my.....Sorry, I feel like I do everything wrong. One time, when I rejected a guy I really did quite like, I was so sweet and tried to be nice - but when I said to him that I hoped I hadn't offended him he said I had...what do I do wrong? I get so frustrated sometimes. I try my best and it never seems good enough - maybe I should just say yes to the next guy who wants to go out with me, but the thing is, is that I don't want to! Even when I like them - I feel a need to NOT go on dates. Why is that? Maybe I don't like them enough - maybe that's it! Yeah? Does that make sense? Another question I have, is why can't guys understand what I feel? Is it really not that obvious? I don't know if I'm making sense anymore...sorry aunts and uncles.Anyway, the main problem is: whenever I come even a little close to a guy asking me on a date, I seem to become repelled...but not because I don't like him, and not because I don't want a relationship - as you know. Has anyone else had this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, xnickx  +, writes (29 June 2010):
 I can answer your second question with 100% accuracy.
why can't guys understand what I feel? Is it really not that obvious?
Guys (especially in high school) have no idea what you feel. just tell us. Guys are usually very open. Usually when we say something, we mean it. We tell each other everything. We expect girls to be the same way. If you aren't saying it, we assume it's not true.
My current gf is extremely flirty and before we started dating would randomly text me im cute, or we'd hang out and hold hands yet i was completely oblivious to the fact she liked me. She was a flirty girl, and we usually hung out with her friends that were dating. I figured it was just in her personality to do that and she was just trying to fit in.
Okay now to your first question.
Maybe this won't answer it, but i'll tell you my opinion. Personally, i think most dating stuff is unnecissary. Like you said, you feel the need to not go on dates. Well, theres nothing wrong with that. I'd much rather just hang out at her house or go walk in the park or something than go on a date. its just more fun to me. My first date with a girl is usually at starbucks for like 5 minutes to see how much i like her and then if i decide i want to still see her, we just go off and do something else.
Whatever you do just make sure you keep it fun and you'll be fine. Never do something just because it is typical of relationships to do it. You said it yourself. You're quirky and interesting. Bring that into your relationship and never let it go.
Happy hunting :)
nick
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): I really wouldn't worry about it tbh, I'm young also but I understand that I have alot of time to find someone.
Because your young and free and flirty you probably don't want to commit!
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