A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:guys i neeed help pleaaaase..my girlfriend just told me a guy in her class kissed her while they were on a break. they were talkin and he just kissed her :S i dont know what to do. i didnt even shout at her i just said ' okay' and left her. she was following me and sayin sorry and she got up right away and now she keeps texting me but i turned my fone off.i dont know what do... Should I forgive her or what? I love this girl but I'm hurt now, it's not easy.helppppthnx a lot
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female
reader, eternallyinfinite  +, writes (6 September 2010):
"she said she didnt kiss him back
she moved away right away "
So you'd better go and apologize for your behavior! She (like everyone else here) did nothing wrong. If you get this upset over it, she'd feel like she'd have to hide things from you in the future.
A
male
reader, FLIPPER66  +, writes (5 September 2010):
 are you insane dude .
she was honest enough to tell you about this . she says he kissed her she didn't iniate it .
she valued you enough to tell you about it (thats her showing you some respect and hoping that you would show her some trust) dah did you (show her that you trusted her)
do not pass go but pick that phone up and turn it on and apologize to her for your actions . its ok to admit you at 1st was hurt by what she said but you cooled off and thought about it .
if she didn't wanyt to be with you she wouldn't have said anything kept it a secret and cheated on you with out your knowledge. if she didn't want to be with you she would have said she wanted out of the relationship . but you've sort of flipped her the finger and the chance that this other guy might try to pick up on to steal her away froim you. which is something he may be hoping for anyways. . question is if he knew she was in a relationship i'm going to say that yours was something kept a secret why did he kiss her to start out with.
my question is are you going to allow this to happen are you going to stand up and say hey i messed up please foregive me or are you going to let this cause a problem in the rest of your life.
please for the love of god listen to what i just told you .
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A
female
reader, kirra07 +, writes (5 September 2010):
She did everything a good girlfriend should do. A guy kissed her, and she didn't kiss back, she left the situation, and she told you about it. What more could you want? Sure, the idea of her liplocked with someone else can bother you, but she's been upfront and honest about everything. Don't shut her out. Talk to her about it, let her reassure you, spend some time together, and then forget about it. If you freeze her out over this, she might not feel she can be honest with you in the future. You should express that you're upset/confused/hurt/jealous, but thank her for telling you the truth.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2010): "she said she didn't kiss him back, she moved away right away"
So, this guy just leaned over, planted one on her WITHOUT her consent, she reacted properly and you're upset!
What if this guy had RAPED her, would you be upset then????
What the guy did was inappropriate, she reacted properly- you are not, what's worse is that you are PUNISHING her for reacting properly. DO you realize how confusing and hurtful your reaction is to her? What you're doing is WORSE than this jerk who kissed her.
Call her, go an apologize in person and hope to hell that she's more mature than you are gives you a second chance.
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A
female
reader, oooh  +, writes (5 September 2010):
forgive just dont forget.
if she does it once and doesn't mean it when she says sorry she likely to do it again.
you clearly know her alot so if you can see it in her eyes that she is truthfully sorry and wont do it again, maybe give it another go? you obviously like her still. dont live life like what if, if you dont give her the chance now she could be gone before you do.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (5 September 2010):
Well let’s see the good in this? If it was me…As long as my girl didn’t start it, I would be proud that I have a woman so hot, and sexy, that other men want her, but can’t. so they try and steal a kiss when I get the whole package. Do you want a woman that no one even looks at, or when they do they gasp “yuk”.
If you girl started the kissing, then be mad at her. If she didn’t, go shake the guy’s hand and say “thank you for letting me know how hot my girl is”. If she really wanted him, she would never have told you… She just wanted your support.
If a girl kissed you in the same way, and you told your girl, and she got mad at you…How would you react?? You would probably get pissed off because she was not being understanding right?
The way this world is…You are lucky she loves you enough to tell the truth.
Now…Go apologize for being a typical man.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe said she didnt kiss him back
she moved away right away
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A
male
reader, tony67 +, writes (5 September 2010):
Sorry you're feeling so hurt. Everything that's going through your head and heart is valid.
First, don't go silent. That may be the first instinct you have in dealing with her, but it's going to be more damaging in the long run. Don't text her back. Call her and ask her for some time to think this through. Give her a time frame. Two days or one day, but put a time frame to it and stick to it. Tell her what day you'll be willing to talk about it and respectfully ask her to give you that time. Assure her you just need some time to sort out your thoughts and then you'll be willing to talk. Say nothing else you don't mean 100%.
While you're doing your thinking remember, she's beating herself to pieces over this. It's not easy for either of you. The power to forgive is often looked upon as a weakness, but it's the strongest thing you can do. Ask her about the moment and ask her to tell you honestly how she was feeling and what she was thinking each step of the way. You'll need to be strong and willing to hear what she has to say. Getting everything out in the open is the only way to move forward. Just remember, you're willingness to hear her out and show empathy is the key to getting through this. Don't play the victim or allow her to play the victim. That's a dangerous path to go down and leads to revenge behavior.
In short, no matter what happens to the relationship, you should forgive her. The desire for physical contact is natural. No one in this world is perfect and to expect perfection is unrealistic. Forgive and live.
I hope it all works out. I look forward to an update on how it went so others can take inspiration in their time of need.
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A
female
reader, eternallyinfinite +, writes (5 September 2010):
Well – did she kiss him back? OR did she push him away? You don’t provide enough details ...
Does she have feelings for this person? If she has no feelings for him, and he kissed her (and she didn’t kiss him back), then you should get over it. However - if she has feelings for this guy, and they were making out or something, then it’s probably best you break up.
It really depends on the circumstances, and how long you’ve been together, and how serious you are about each other.
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