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She is very quiet when she has an orgasm, is this because I am not very good?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 April 2011) 10 Answers - (Newest, 19 November 2017)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

hi i was just wondering. I have been with my partner 7 years. And well she is so quiet when she cums. Is this normal or am i just not giving her good enough ones? I always please her before penertration as she says she cant cum through this method no matter how long we go for.

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A female reader, Jull2254 United Kingdom +, writes (19 November 2017):

Hello there. It is normal for some women. It could just be her normal reaction. Instead of focussing on verbal reactions, try looking out for non verbal reactions such as; does her breathing change? Watch her body language and you will be able to tell better than her verbal reactions.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 April 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntsome women are quiet...

if you have sex in situations where being loud is not good (i.e. you live with other people or children or parents) you learn to be quiet...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011):

It's normal. However, i personally never understand how a woman could be quiet during an orgasm.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011):

LOL

Not everyone moans and groans and screams like a porn star. Actually it is quite annoying to hear, in my opinion. I too am very quiet, but my partner knows when I am close, and he knows when I am having an orgasm....and he is extremely good.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011):

I wouldn't take it personally...not everyone is a screamer. I understand why it might make you feel a bit insecure if you're uncertain about whether she's cum or not. Or if you feel like your always asking "did you cum yet?"

You can ask her to give you a physical sign when she's coming like a light pinch or you can learn to spot tell-tale signs in her body language so you known when it's happening. That way you, you don't make the experience a Q and A session.

Again...don't take it personally...if you do and she feels like she has to make it a performance for you, it can make it harder for her to relax and ultimately harder for her to enjoy herself.

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A male reader, Illithid United States +, writes (19 April 2011):

Illithid agony auntMany women are quiet. Sometimes that's just naturally how they are, or it could be concern for the neighbors overhearing, or just would be too embarrassed to make noise, or just never thought about it. It doesn't have any bearing on how satisfied she is.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011):

Don't worry about it! I am quite in bed because I've had to learn to be. I am quiet when i orgasm as well because i'm concentrating on my orgasm. If i would start screaming and being noisy, then, it probably wouldn't feel as good because i would have to stretch my thinking on two different things so my orgasm, would not feel as good! Some one else tolde that they was quite when they were having an orgasm because it, intensifys it

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A female reader, ToHereKnowsWhen Australia +, writes (19 April 2011):

ToHereKnowsWhen agony auntWhy aren't the two of you talking about this? Despite what you think, not every girl screams when she orgasms. Sex is much more than just a quest to get her to make noise. Her reaction is not normal or abnormal, it's just her. If you really want to know what she is feeling ask. She will appreciate it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011):

Some people are predespositioned to be quiet when pleasured. My boyfriend is also always completely silent. There are other clues to tell you if she likes it. Listen to her breathing, is she gasping, is it hitching? Look at her hands, are they clenching into fists? Are they clutching at the sheets?

But if you're really unsure, you should sit down and talk to her about it, just make sure that she knows that you're not looking for her to tell you what you want to hear, but that you want the actual truth.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (19 April 2011):

dirtball agony auntAfter 7 years, don't you think you can ask her this?

Honestly, everyone is different. Not everyone screams like a porn star, but that doesn't mean they aren't satisfied.

Ask her. "I've noticed you're always really quiet when you orgasm. I just want to make sure I'm pleasing you well enough. Is there anything I should change? I love you and want to make sure you are happy with our sex life like I am."

You want to reassure her that you love her and that you're satisfied. You can talk about this, in fact, it's very healty to have good conversations about sex. You have it, so talking about it shouldn't be weird either.

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