A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this time last year everything was perfect, I had the girl, the money and the friends. In september she left me for her ex who had started to threaten me over her. Everything went downhill from here, stuff at work went wrong and ended up in me losing all my money. i'm just starting to get back on my feet now.Ever since she left me i haven't stopped thinking about her and no one else ive been with made me feel so happy. out of the blue she's suddenly started texting me again and its as if nothing bad has happened between us, like it was the good old days. However shes still with her boyfriend who is a bit of a thug. Should I pursue her again or not? The last time i saw her was kissing her goodbye and i haven't been happy since.I just think she is my bearer of bad luck. I really don't know what to do.
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male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (2 August 2011):
 No don't bother. She flits between guys. She was with the Ex, then with you, then back to the Ex, now she starts at you again. This is a pattern. Don't go back.
A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (2 August 2011):
First you need to know what you want. Then you need to find out what she wants. Texting is not a good form of communication, but it has to start somewhere so I understand her texting you as a start, it is easy and not intrusive. However, texting is not a good way to find out what you need to know. Best is to speak in person, if that isn't possible a phone call is ok. Find out why she is contacting you, and tell her what you want and what you don't want from her. Take things from there.
One thing to keep in mind: She left you for her ex. Now she might be thinking of leaving him for you. This would demonstrate a pattern in her life, that when she becomes uncomfortable in a relationship due to whatever difficulties, she looks for another relationship to latch onto before ditching her current one. It makes it much more likely that she will do the same thing to you again down the line when life presents new challenges. If you are thinking about taking her back, and she wants to take you back, I would do it the right way. That means you shouldn't take her back till she is single, and standing on her own two feet. If she can learn to do that, she will be more equipped to deal with the challanges of a relationship with you.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 She went with the other guy. I wouldn't go back to her.
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