A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So i have had a fwb relationship with this guy from work for the past 3 months. At first it was all about hooking up. But then we started talking about everyday stuff and things going on in our lives. So then i thought well maybe we can be more than bed buddies and actually be friends. Hence the "f" in fwb. But he really had no interest in that. So i let it be and we just continued on as before. But now i have grown to have feelings for him. Well i told him today about my feelings and how i cannot continue our fwb relationship because i am afraid of getting hurt. He confirmed the fact that he does not have the same feelings for me but wants to continue hooking up. I told him that was not possible. Now its been like 5 hrs and i am going crazy that we arent talking. So i texted him and asked if we can just forget what i said and just continue our fwb relationship again. Is this possible? And is there any way i can help him see me for me and possibly change how he feels about me? I know i cant make him do anything. But are there any tricks i can do that might help my situation in my conquest? Maybe i can hold sex back and suggest going out for coffee or something? Any ideas?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): He wants to use your body and you want more. It's not going to happen. You gave him sex without a relationship so you're never getting the relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): Instead of trying to change the way HE thinks, re-evaluate your own thinking.
He made it very clear that not only does he not want a relationship with you, he doesn't even want a friendship. He just wants benefits. Is that all you think you're worth?
Even if I thought changing his mind was an option, which I don't, I'd say that setting a limit for yourself and then asking him to forget what you said only hours later undermined your efforts. Now he knows you're desperate and he has all the power in this arrangement.
If you think parting ways is difficult now, imagine how much harder it will be several months down the road. For your own psychological and emotional well being, cut him out of your life completely. Give yourself a chance to get over him.
And instead of just leaving a void where he used to be, fill that space with something new and interesting. Take up a hobbie, learn a new skill, get together with old friends.
...............................
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 I don't think anything more is going to happen with this relationship than is already happening. He seems pretty fixed on not wanting to be more than a romp in the hay so I wouldn't waste any more time on him. While you are with him you are closed off to any other opportunites that may come your way.
...............................
|
