A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my girlfirend for about 8months now. When we started dating she was a sweetheart and was so nice. After the third month she began to fight with me with for just about anything small or big. She would start the fight, get me heated and curse at me and yell an blame me for all her problems then she will turn her phone off for the rest of the day. She can't stand the fact of me talking to another girl even if it's my cousin she tends to keep me away from my family that I rarly get to see because of her. She gets mad when I hang out with my friends because to her there "bad people" due to them smoking weed. She so bi-polor she will be perfecting fine and in a snap of fingers she will go fcuking crazy insane. I love her I have very strong feeling for her but she is forcing me to hate her for the way she is. She loves to put me down, she always has something negotive to say about me (about my clothes hair shoes car? ) everything and anything! She loves to ignore me she like it when I call her a 100 times before she picks up, let's say she calls me and if i don't pick up the first time she goes nuts like who were you talking to what were you doing even when I'm in the restroom I can't give her any excuse because it doesn't matter to her.....she hurts me so much and I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, xtruestory3 +, writes (8 July 2010):
 Sounds a lot like how i used to be. I couldnt trust my boyfriend for anything and i felt like he made me turn into that crazy person. all the lies he told just drove me insane, turned me into a crazy person. i didnt even know who i was. i hated who i was. chances are shes got something emotionally going on with her. maybe a mixture of things, possibly family, school, work, anything really. maybe theres thngs you do that kinda push her buttons a little and make her this crazy person. i dont think she means to take it all out on you. best thing to do is to spill your feeings on the situation, sit her down and really talk to her about whats going on. let her feel comfortable enough to open up to you and let you in if there is deeper issues behind the situation. i dont think she means harm. girls go through alot of jealousy and insecurity and there is usually reasoning behind it all. try to be comforting. if she doesnt understand and the situation doesnt change, offer some time off of the relationship and try and see where that takes you. maybe you'll miss her, or realize you just dont need the drama right now. goodluck.
A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (5 July 2010):
 She doesnt deserve you.stay away from her before she destroys yo confidence.shes a psycho that wil do u more harm than u can imagine.its not love wen you are not hapy with the person you ar in lov with
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): To be honest that sounds a bit like me! I tell you I need a strong man who can stand up to me and not take my bull. You need to start standing up for yourself, you need to threaten to end the relationship. Damn end it and see if she runs after you. Sometimes if you are in control of a relationship, well it is very hard for some people not to take advantage of that and take their anger and frustration out on that person. Take the control back, if she's still the same then she properly needs some psychological help.Sounds like she has a paranoid disorder.
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A
female
reader, jujubelover +, writes (5 July 2010):
 Sweetie, you really need to distance yourself from this girl. She doesn’t sound emotionally mature, like you said she sounds like she’s got mayor emotional problems. You don’t want to be with someone that humiliates and criticizes you constantly. When you are in a good or healthy relationship, you should feel good and not the way you are feeling now. The longer you stay the longer your self respect will suffer. She really needs help and until she gets it, you will continue to be manipulated by her. My nephew was influenced by a girl once and she succeeded in separating him from all of his/our family. She even convinced him to change his last name to hers. The best of luck to you and remember you deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship.
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A
male
reader, smile(: +, writes (5 July 2010):
You deserve better than her. No one should abuse you like that.
You love her. But it seems like she has changed. The person you love no longer exists. Let her go. There is no one and only for anyone, you will find someone else. If you stay in the relationship it will probably only damage you; you will probably pick up some of her bad habits. Get away from her. Find a friend you can trust to keep you from going back, someone you can call when you feel like calling her, a cousin is a good choice. Rebuild family connections she should never, never have made you leave. Rebuild friendships and/or make new friends.
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A
female
reader, xox_disenchanted  +, writes (5 July 2010):
This is probably the last thing you want to hear, but, you need to break up with her.
I mean, if someone were treating me like shit, I wouldn't tolerate it. You shouldn't either. It's obvious she's the jealous type, but she's what I like to call, 'The Jealous Hormonal Bitch'; sorry.
If you're talking to your cousin, there is no reason to get upset about that.
She's probably insecure in your relationship, and needs to know how much you care, hence picking up after you calling her a hundred times.
What you need to do is, next time you guys are fighting, don't call her. Make her make the first move. If she doesn't after about two to three days, she's honestly not worth it, dude.
Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't love/like you back?
By the sounds of it, you can do a lot better. No matter how much you love her, is the abuse really worth it?
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A
male
reader, RON_499  +, writes (5 July 2010):
 The best thing for you to do would be to try to calm her down fr just a bit and then tell her very nicely how strongly u feel about her and how it hurts you when she ignores you...ask her if uve done anything that may have hurt her feelings...tell her theres no one in the whole world you'd rather be with than her and that she doesnt have to worry when u speak to ur cousin n stuff...and most of all tell her ure stupid sometimes(i knw ure not but humour her)and so she shouldnt get pissed at u easily...
That should help...and about the weed junkies...its better if u dont get too involved fr her sake and yours...i got friends too who smoke weed but i'm just cordial with them...i don't like hang out with them too much...
but u don't have to take my word fr it...shes urs based on how important she is to u the decision's up to u...
Now don't worry n work on your speech...keep a gentle expression while doin this k...
it'll work out...
C-ya Dude take care ^_^
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A
male
reader, GabeP +, writes (5 July 2010):
You've got to stand up to her. Explain clearly and firmly what she does that bothers you and why you're going to demand that she stop. In my experience, both women and men will gleefully mistreat their partners if they don't think they'll stand up to it. Men more often become beaters/controllers and women more often become screamers and naggers, but the motivation is the same: when people see a doormat, they start wiping their feet.
You must tell her that she will not continue to treat you so poorly and that you will not accept it any longer. Will this cost you your relationship? Possibly, maybe even probably, but the status quo doesn't sound very good. Let her know that you won't stand for any more BS and back up your words with actions. If she wants to be reasonable, you can have a relationship. If not, you'll have to move on. I don't think there's any magic approach to make people be reasonable other than demanding fair treatment and distancing yourself if they don't comply.
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