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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I lost my virginity to a girl I really liked the other week but then I found out she only slept with me on a bet. I'm 18 and have never been that good with girls. There was this one girl at my college who I really liked but never had the guts to speak to. She was so gorgeous and popular and I was amazed that in one of our classes together she started flirting with me proper. She said she liked me and invited me to a party at her house that week, to which I said I would go, although now I wish I didn't. The night of the party we both had a few drinks and she was glued to me all night. I felt really really special and couldn't believe we ended up going upstairs to her room. I was so nervous that during foreplay I told her I was a virgin, but she said not to worry about it. If I'm honest the whole experience wasn't exactly how I'd imagined and lasted all of 2 minutes, but I at least thought I could get better at sex in the future.We went back downstairs and suddenly a group of her friends started laughing at me. She then called me a loser and said she only slept with me on a bet with her friends. I went home humiliated and cried myself to sleep. The next Monday at college I was a laughing stock. She told everyone I had a tiny manhood and was rubbish in bed. I had to put up with constant jibes and people sniggering at me all day.I was that embarrased and humiliated I turned to my Mum for help and she said that the girl was a silly whore and what she did was despicable. She said people at my college would realise what kind of person she was soon enough but I dont see it that way. She is one of the most popular girls at college and everyone sucks up to her. I confronted her the other day and told her how she had hurt me but she just didn't care. I feel so alone at the moment, nobody at college has any degree of sympathy for me and I really can't put up with another year at that place. What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): Think of this way man, someone else paid for you to sleep with a whore. We should all be so lucky!?
The irony here is she doesn't even realize this makes her look bad, not you. I mean really think about it for a second. Clearly she and none of her friends have.
I'm so sorry you lost your virginity this way, though. That's certainly no way for it to go.
Stay strong and don't let the mouth breathers get to you. You have your whole life ahead of you, and these people ultimately mean nothing in the greater scheme of things.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow I wasn't expecting this many responses. Still quite down in the dumps about it but think I'm gonna do what most of you guys said and just laugh it off until it blows over. Went to college today and got a few jibes but nothing I hadn't heard before so at least I'm getting used to it.
But thanks for all your advice guys it really means a lot!
P.S. For those that really want to know I did use a condom so I doubt an STD test is really necessary.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Look on the bright side, you slept with a hot, popular girl!
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female
reader, RM24  +, writes (11 November 2010):
Honestly, you just have to move on and like someone else said, pretend it doesn't bother you. I believe in what goes around comes around so she'll get hers one day. Hey if you even want to play the game with her, you can say she's easy :P but I suggest you just focus and school and act like it doesn't bother you. My boyfriend is a bit older than you and he was a virgin and I wasn't, I got a lot of attention, asked out a lot and he was the total opposite but it's not something to be insecure about in the eyes of a good woman. I truthfully think it's attractive and when you meet the right girl, she'll accept you for who you are and at least you know you'll be loved by her for the right reasons. You can't erase the past but you can change your future! All the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): This is why you should only have sex with someone when you're in a committed relationship... I agree with all the posts below, especially the STD testing.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 So, does everyone who knows you had sex with her mean EVERYONE? Including her mommy and daddy? Does the entire school know she has sex with guys for a bet? Oh she will be popular all right once that becomes common knowledge.
And if it is already common knowledge, then a LOT of people will not care about what she or her friends say, sluts rarely get listened to. They are used, then discarded.
You seem sensitive BUT you DID fuck a girl you never talked to. So, that sensitive side, that didn't surface until AFTER you had fucked the girl didn't it? When you thought a popular attractive girl wanted no strings attached sex, which personality ruled your "head". The macho "love'm and leave'm" stud or the sensitive guy?
So be honest, that macho stud got you laid. Not a perfect first time but they rarely are. You nailed one of the most popular girls. Just remember that. And if this doesn't pass over, then make sure OTHER people remember it. Her family, her boyfriend (or does Ms Popular not have a boyfriend).
So, a virgin wasn't a stud in the sack. Guess what, nobody expects this to be the case, least of all normal women even virgin women. Really, people who know about sex know about their own first time. Yes, they might laugh a bit but only with you, because we know what we ourselves were like. 2 minutes? You already did better then a lot of guys.
If my advice sounds a bit like "laugh it off" then that is because that is the only thing to do. You nailed the college slut. Congrats, now get an STD test. And don't fool around with girls like this. They are bad news.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Man up, that's what you do. I don't mean to sound harsh or insensitive but you're dealing with an insensitive bitch that gets off on using guys like you, then that's how you too must act about it. Don't play the game the way she wants you to play your own game and seriously, man up.
What's happening now is called bullying, this is the same as the big kid that would flush your head down the toilet in elementary school to both make himself feel big, get laughs from everyone else and make you look a tool.
Everything you have done thus far has played right into their hands, instead of standing up for yourself you went crying to mommy and told that other bitch she hurt you :'( Please, please don't take my language and tone as demeaning or insulting that's not my intention at all. I'm just highlighting how it looks from the outside to people that are getting great thrills out of your misery. Do you see what I'm getting at? There's a time to cry and there's a time to be tough, this is the latter.
Just like in school if people think they can walk all over you they will and if you don't learn the mechanisms to cope with this kind of thing and let people know you're not someone who can be pushed around. Then you're going to go through this over and over again in your life, in work, in relationships etc. even by people who don't mean to do it, it can just happen because you enable it.
Dude it's great to be sensitive, it can be a really good character trait and when you meet the right woman she'll love that side of you, as long as you're able to stand up for yourself.
I was bullied in school, I used to take punches and derision all the time until finally I'd had enough and I fought back against the biggest guy in the school. Now he kicked my ass pretty badly that day but he never again said or did anything to me again because he knew I'd fight back. He knew I'd no longer be an easy victim and wasn't worth bothering with you.
You're situation is not all that dissimilar, she hurt you bad, she went a very calculated way around hurting you, using you and completely crushing you. She took something special from you and walked all over it but there's no way that whore can take your dignity, your pride, your manhood, she can't take any of that unless you let her. At the moment you are, so it's time to stop that and take that back. When you go back to college tomorrow, you smile, you hold your head high, you be proud of the person you are and be proud that you're going to make a stand. If people laugh you smile at them or you laugh louder. Do not show any sign of emotion other than happiness.
Don't give that bitch a minute of your time, don't give her even a second thought, you know what will really mess with her head. If next time you pass her in the hallway you smile and say hi do it sincerely every time you see her. the biggest thing here is to learn not let things like that bother you and if they do don't show it. Don't show any weakness to anyone or they'll get satisfaction. If people bring it up in friendly conversation laugh with them, talk about her having nice tits, talk like you're glad you've scored. Only let your true, trusted friends know your real feelings.
Seriously you need to find a way of not letting stuff like this bother you so much, or at least find a way of hiding it better from others. As others have suggested counseling to learn coping mechanisms is not a bad idea. They're right too that people like her go on to lead hard lives, because you're not the last person she'll fuck over and even the people that thinks it's funny in public are probably calling her bitch behind her back. just don't become an asshole like her.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 My goal isn't to make you feel worse right now, but I really hope you used protection. It would probably be in your best interest to get checked for STD's. If she's willing to sleep with you on a bet, I'm sure she's done it before so you don't have any idea what she might have.
It was horrible what happened to you. I can't imagine how hurt you are right now. What the others have advised is right. You have to pretend like this never happened. In a couple of weeks, this will be old news. Everyone will have moved on. The more you dwell on it, the more ammunition you give them to use against you.
If you haven't, you might want to talk to a councellor at your school. Sometimes just talking about something like this will help.
On the bright side, this story will likely garner sympathy from nice girls who will want to show you all women aren't like this trashy girl who hurt you. I'm sure you're not ready for that, but I'm hoping to find a silver lining here for you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): She is ridiculous! And so are all the other idiots who seem to be finding this funny!! I'd like to see one of them face such a situation and have the balls to go back to confront the bitch! She'll pay for this..believe me. You don't let this shake your confidence..it doesn't matter how popular she is..neither of you are going to stay in this college forever. Remember, everything happens for a reason..something good will come out of this for sure. Be brave..
Good luck!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 This girl sounds like she is mentally deranged. Ignore her, move on, pretend the whole episode never happened and if you ever happen to think about this girl, think about her with compassion. Yes, compassion. Think how messed up she must be, and what minimal value she gives herself. Sharing her body for a bet. Sharing her intimacy- to make a bunch of drunken pals laugh. She must think that her body and her sexual self are worth less than shit, to pass it around just for a lark. Sick, but very sad too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): The only explanation I see is that all of them are still children, because if they were mature, they would see a completely different side to the story, the side that says the girl is a completely empty-headed and cheap. I don't see how it is in any way embarrassing towards you...
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): That's terrible, i can't imagine how hurtfull that must have been. The girl is obviously a complete bitch and very insecure. Try and stay in college if you can, don't let this horrible insedent ruin your future. Eventually people will get bored of the gossip and find someone else to talk about. Try and ignore those sad peoples comments, stick with your mates.
Remember, eventually that girl will end up alone because when you leave college and go into the adult world people will see her for what she really is and dump her pathetic ass. I bet most of her "friends" only hang out with her because they're afraid of her doing something to them but when you get to be an adult you don't need that crap and she will be left alone.
She might be attractive and popular now but remember: Beauty fades but stupid lasts forever.
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female
reader, heartbrokenhelper +, writes (10 November 2010):
 well that's is despicable. all you can do is just move on , act all Happy although what she did doesn't bother you. smile and shrug it off , sorry that happened to you . and i know virginity is irreplaceable. if she sees you happy she will forget about it and or ignore the fact she did it to you.
nevertheless that was downright whorish of her and as your mom said years later or even soon people will relize that.
i for 1 believe in karma (so by that means) she will be used soon by soon she admires. and you will meet a girl and be very happy with her.
well good luck , if you wanna talk send me a message :) i hope things get better soon .
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female
reader, misLadYd..  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 just act like you dont care.i mean they are losers not you.your ed. Is very important so ignore all of them and do what your parents pay for...getting educated.
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