A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello! I have been with my girlfriend over a year now and we just had a relationship crisis. She cheated on me with some guy and told me about it. A know that she is sorry and would go back in time and not do it if she could and I love her very much. But there is one problem. She keeps talking to that guy. If I accidentally glimpse at her computer screen I most of the times see that she is talking to him. She always hides the window if she sees that I am looking. And she doesn’t want to kiss me if her webcam is on and he is looking. I told her how I feel but she said that I can’t force her to stop talking to him. It seems to me as if she is giving more attention to him than me. It would be fine if she just cheated on me once in the past but this is too much. What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): I got cheated on too man, bad thing is she won't admit it, several friends had seen her with some other guy and when I asked her she'd play victim and go all 'are you questioning my fidelity' afterwards she'd be all like 'I'm sorry, everythings okay, nothing's wrong with us' just so she could keep me in the dark, and all to break up with me in less than a week's time. I was devastated but now I think I'm finally coping with it and moving on, slowly, but surely. My advice to you (if it isn't too late) and for all of you who are in the same situation: don't look back, as it'll only make things harder, get out of there ASAP and keep in mind that what you did was the right thing to do, this is not as simple a forgiving and forgetting, I say 'once a cheater, always a cheater' peace man.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): I'm in this EXACT situation, but I chose to stay with her. It'll be hard, I guarantee that, but it DOES get easier.
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A
male
reader, sheridan  +, writes (14 January 2008):
hi i had the same problem and it allmost killed me in the end for about 4 weeks i keeped blaming myself and i made myself very ill so be very careful its very hard to let go i know myself but u gotta think how much could you take and every day you say it will get better only makes it worse im still hurting in side but every day i think abit less about her good luck mate there are better people out there
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A
male
reader, shikari424 +, writes (11 January 2008):
I'm sorry, i know your heart might be telling you otherwise, but you've got to leave this girl.
At least temporarily. It's unbelievably out of order to cheat on you THEN carry on contact with the guy in question! If she's being secretive about him, well, she's only got stuff to hide then.
She's got to choose. And if she can't, time to move on and find someone else.
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (11 January 2008):
Sometimes i feel i'm da only one in such situations.It amazes me the rate at which women cheat.In da past,the men were cheaters but now it's hard to know who cheats more.I also took back my girlfriend after she cheated on me and had to wait for 2 weeks for her to "officially" break up with the other guy but with your woman i sense foul play and she's not even discreet about it.I always had the option to walk away but stayed and fought to get my woman back.In your case,where she even rubs it in your face,you'd be really courageous to stick with her.She's still undecided and it's either you shake her up a bit to make her decude or call it a day in your relationship and move on.I certainly haven't moved on and she seems to have changed for the better though things are NOT the same.What you should do depends on how much you love her.Either you fight for her or just leave her and move on.Don't ask me what i did.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): YOur good nature and big heart are being abused by this girl.
She may have a soft spot towards you, but she is not in love with you, whatever she might say.
Get out of there fast mate, despite the pain, and don't look back. You will find someone worthy.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 I don't really see any option but for you to leave her.
This isnt simple flirtation here, she cheated with him and is still in contact. What a hide this girl has!
You've got a dud here, some people are just natural cheaters, but they end up very unhappy as nobody can trust them and they are unable to form committed relationships. If you go then the flirtation with this guy becomes less exciting for her and she will move on to another bloke then another. Let her play her silly little games with someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): Tell her she has too choose!! Him or you. To be honest i think she has some cheek expecting your forgiveness while she can happily keep in contact with him. Jeez she should know better.
Id be so angry!!!!!
You have to give her the ultimatum. Don't stand for this if it is making you unhappy.
And if she wont choose...you choose and dump her.
Sorry for being so blunt. I know its easier said than done. But you will never be happy with things like this!!
Best of luck.
Zero tolerance in this situation i think!!!!!!
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 Its one thing if she cheated made up for it and all is forgiven, but if she is still being deceptive with you, then its time you think about breaking up with her. If she is on her computer and has to hide her screen when you walk in, it’s just plain deceptive and doesn’t speak well of her. What would she have to hide from you if not something that you shouldn't know about or would hurt you? She confessed herself to you about what she did and she probably did it to remove her guilt about it. But did she really break up with him after that fact? You happen to be catching her in the act of doing what some girls like to do which is keep one boyfriend while feeling out for the next one to replace you. I can't explain this type of behavior, but I guess they just don't like to have down time between boys and this is their way of transitioning between relationships. This isn't the case for ALL girls, but with some yes. That’s clearly what this looks like.
I’m sorry man. You should do yourself a favor and pull out before she drops you which can happen any time. It’s only a matter of time. She’s looking for a commitment from him before you get taken out of the picture. Don’t give her the satisfaction and get out before she breaks up with you.
Peace out.
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