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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend of 15 months.I feel like we're falling apart, and it's breaking my heart.We're desperately in love, but he takes everything so much to heart, and it's making me feel I can never do anything right. I'm blaming myself for everything, even though sometimes I don't even see where I go wrong.I show him I love him as best I can, and he does too, but if we ever argue, then he always comes away with the impression that I don't love him any longer. He really isn't showing faith in me, and he says that it's not because of me, but just because he's worried.Does he not trust me? I've never cheated, and neither has he, and we've never had trust problems before.How can I show him I love him? Or even better, how could we avoid arguments? I can't stand the thought of losing him, I really can't.I just can't lose him. Please help me. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (11 January 2008):
I know how you must be feeling when you think you're giving it your all and it just doesn't seem to impress your partner.I sense a bit of emotional blackmail,trying to make you look like the bad one.A more direct approach would be to confront him and ask what makes him think you don't love him anymore.A softer approach would be to avoid arguments and were not possible you bring up something you know he enjoys.Go out together and do fun things that can help you forget your arguments.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Lean74  +, writes (10 January 2008):
I can give you a bit of insight because I feel and act the way your boyfriend does, towards my husband of 2 years. The things that make me feel this way is if he becomes less affectionate than usual, if he turns me down for sex or if he spends all day on his computer and is preoccupied when I try to talk to him. I know he needs his own time, but I would like to feel like he is at least a little interested in talking to me periodically throughout the day. When I try to talk to him about it, he says that I am putting pressure on him and that he has things to do and he says that it seems like I want him to just be attached to me at all times. I don't feel that way, but he is usually affectionate and puts his arm around me or holds my hand or something when we sit down together. So, when he does not do this for a few days, I begin to feel there is a problem. Then, if I bring up that he turned me down for sex, he says he was tired. But, usually it is several times in a row. Plus, men usually don't turn it down. So, I guess my advice to you is lots affectionate, consistently, act very interested when he talks to you, even if you are not and try not to turn him down too often. I learned something from your question, that it is probably annoying him when I bring up my feelings, so I will keep it to myself from now on.
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