A
male
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* Waited For The One
writes:what do u think is going on?i've been dating my girlfriend a little over 3 1/2 monthsi planned for today friday 15th June to spend it hanging out together but this morning at 11.40am she text me 2 say she couldn't meet me friday or saturday because she was in blackpool (1hr away) because her dad had been taken 2 hospital and she went up the night before so i thought nothing of it.i went to town about 12.50 i went to go home about 1.10 as i saw her crossing the same road as me. shes meant 2 be 50 miles away but no shes not, shes in front of me.so i followed her all around town for about 10 minutes trying to get the nerve to comfront her. but i thought why not confront her in a text but i knew she would make an excuse up and i want 2 speak 2 her face 2 face so as her and her mom was walking out of a shop i said "can i borrow this lady" 2 my girls mom and her mom said "no u cant" now thats got 2 be a joke right? my girl did give her bags 2 her mom and i said "why did you lie 2 me and say you were in blackpool when you weren't" she said "i didnt lie 2 ya i've just come back from blackpool and i'm going back later" she told me she been 2 blackpool in her pjs and had to come home for her cloths. theres something a miss right? why wouldn't she have clothes at her dads?i got on msn tonight so did my girl we spoke for about an hr at 10pm she told me she was going 2 the hopsital and i said "it closes 2 the public at 11" remember when i was there in the past with my ex girlfridnd i know it was my own town hospital and shes in a 50 miles away hospital i know they're the same. she told me if she had the time she would get on msn 2 speak 2 me i was like "you can only go to till about 11" so why will you be any later than 12 she told me her uncle was taking her 2 the hospital and he had 2 take her nan home who lives very very close 2 our own town.i wanna believe her dad is sick but why lie about being 50 miles away only 1 hr 30 mins later be home and around town with her mom? she was shopping she saw me and smiled and then continued on her shopping im 25 shes 20 nearly 21. she told me she wasn't going 2 her dads because she wanted 2 spend time with me.now it feels like shes not really in blackpool and i think she wanted to have some alone time i wouldn't of minded if she would of said "can we not meet this weekend" if your dad was ill in he hospital would you go home 50 miles away and change and then go shopping with your mom and look like there's nothing on your mind because if you would have looked at her she looked normal i'm sorry but i hate my dad if he was ill i would be worried sick even if the drs was saying hes fine.what do u think do u think im being silly or do u think theres something wrong?i did try anal with her this week it hurt her and i want 2 try it more could that be a reason why shes trying to spend some away time away from me?where also trying 4 a baby is that another?i also wanna move in with her do u think that could be a reason?i wanna believe her dad is ill but u wouldn't go 50 miles away just 2 change ya cloths i know she as cloths at her dads she as everything at her dads thats y this werld.shes no job so how she did the train 4 times i dont know i know her mom got paid and as i saw them walking around town they was going 2 the bank and her mom got some money out but still there is something wrong i think.i txted her all day she txt me bak i txted her at 11.20pm and she txt me bak but now shes no credit lefted at all.she told me she's staying at mine on monday and tuesday but do u think there could be another guy?
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male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (16 June 2007):
You have nothing really going for you in your relationship, as I see it. Why? Because your Gf didn't include you in her family problems,a sick father. Do you think that she'll ever include you in any other important areas of her life? married or no. All relationships are made up of what is called mutual-abuse. As I see it you are the puppet and she is the pupprteer yanking the strings of relational-control,and you want to have a baby? All new born children have the right to grow-up within a committed, parenteral relationship. You don't have it now.And To be quite blunt. I would move on with my life if I were you.That is unless you want to keep beating your head against the wall of relational confusion, because it feels so gooood.
A
female
reader, JessIzFit +, writes (16 June 2007):
 Heya, blimey, you have a lot on your plate. It sounds a bit like your rushing things a little bit here. If you can't trust her then how are you meant to move in or have a baby with out trust ? Trust is a must ! I think her dad is sick and she's dealing with it and still including you at the same time. I think the best thing to do is forget about all of this and continue loving your life with her. Get more trust between you aswell. Remember if you love her and she loves you, everything is fine. Hope I helped you,
Louise
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A
female
reader, Carina  +, writes (16 June 2007):
 Whoah! Slow down a bit. This all sounds very rushed and panicky to me. After three and a half months you're trying for a baby and you want to move in with her, but you don't trust her. I think you haven't been in the relationship long enough to be sure of her, so for starters I'd hold back on having a baby and so on for a while.
I'm sure her dad is sick and she's dealing with her family at the moment. She's talking to you, smiling at you, texting you and arranging to see you. The fact is that if she loves you and you love her then you have to trust each other, otherwise this relationship will come unstuck. I agree that you should forget all about this incident and carry on as normal. Try to relax and stop going over every detail in your mind. It's making you unnecessarily upset.
As for the anal: ask her outright if she does or doesn't want to and go with whatever she says. Hope this helps a bit.
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A
female
reader, myp  +, writes (16 June 2007):
 she might be hiding something from you but i dont think its another guy. Maybe shes got family issues shes not ready to talk about, but it doesnt sound like shes cheating at all. Give her some time and talk about how you feel she might not be telling the truth. If she feels comfortable talking with you, everything will come out eventually.
best of luck
-Myesha
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (16 June 2007):
 there is no other guy. you both need to slow down. her father probably is sick and she used it as an excuse not to see you so your feelings would not get hurt. the best thing to do is believe her until you catch her red handed doing something wrong. more than likely she just wanted to go with her mom for a change or something thats all. 21 is still really young and so is 25. take your time, you have plenty.
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