A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a girl 2 month ago, we heard so much fun in a very short period of time, I have 3 kids one 5, and twins 2, with different women, at first I told her I have 1 child, later on as we where getting serious, I knew I really like her, so i told her about my other 2 kids, we where fine, she told she is cool about the whole matter, one day she went through my laptop and see the video and picture of my twins when the where born, and some with my Mom, and she was very angry that I did not tell her that I was in hospital when they where born, and that my Mom knows them, I said I told you about them but I did not know that I should go into details of what really happened....two weeks after she just called to tell me she wants a brake (obviously break up) I really like this girl seriously, and now she is gone.1.i have a very rough past as results it has given me 3 kids out of wedlock 2.I have changed Given my life to Jesus Christ, 3. does this means because of my past or because I have 3 kids at the age of 30 i can have a decent relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Guys thank you for all your response it has really helped me, we manage to talk through with my girl friend and we back together and one thing I learn from all this is that in any relationship tell the truth from day one even if its a little details
it now my prayer that God will grant me a grace to make her my wife, i will pay Lobola soon hope all you guys will fly down to south Africa for our wedding ,.....Never Loved anyone like this before
A
female
reader, Fabulosa  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 You should have been honest from the start. Its possible she didn't know how to react to the news of your kids... and the lie u told... and just acted ok but later after thinking about it she might have changed her mind. It may not even be the kids that bother her but the fact they you dented them. And yes your mom should know about them and yes you should have been at there birth even if not for the mom but to see you chimes first breath.... what is your relationship with theses children? And has she meet them?
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A
male
reader, sam44  +, writes (17 January 2011):
I will be dead honest with you my brother. It seems to me like you wait for a girl to get deep into you...and then open your unpleasant past? and that's regarded as dating fraudulent with the girls you're dating, they take you as a coward and liar. Which explains why you are in the vicious circle of breakups and kids being left behind.
My suggestion is be upfront honesty off the start, that way you wont have to suffer heartbreaks and potentially unwanted pregnant. Tell someone completely who you are early, and let them take it or leave it. Usually people give second chance if you're honest with them... but if you hide the sensitive truth at first it a different story. Next time be honesty, you're 30 you still have a chance... goodluck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): The same thing happened to my friend she found old pics and vids from when his daughter was born but why would you get rid of them?!? Its your child so u can keep them!
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A
female
reader, Miss.Me +, writes (17 January 2011):
 Isn't it implied that the father of the child being born will be at the hospital during the birth?? Isn't it normal for the grandmother to hold and know her grandkids?? Unless you made her understand differently, like explicitly lied, the girl had no reason to be angry about those things! Maybe she thought you should destroy every evidence of past life you had involving other women?
You said she asked for a break two weeks after. Maybe there is another reason for her wanting a break[up] other than the story you mentioned here. Did you talk to her to see what made her want a break[up]?
Everyone has a chance at being in a GREAT, not just decent, relationship. Your rough past can shape you to be better in the present and future. Be hopeful and don't let bad events influence you negatively.
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