A
female
age
51-59,
*adwife
writes:Can some one please help,I am sexually inhibited, my husband is the best lover, he knows me well, but when it comes to talking to him about sex, my wants, desires, fantasies, I clam up and my brain goes into shut down. I do have fantasies in my mind. He has told me his and I love to hear about them, some are out there, but I love that he tells me. I just can't return the favor. I was married before for 15 years and I cannot explain that sexual relationship, it made no sense to me. Here is the oddity about it, if I am drunk, there is less inhabition with my actions or telling him CERTAIN things but I still don't talk about my fantasies. My husband loves to see me let my hair down, it turns him on, but again the same problem. Some one please help me. Is there a book to read or movies to watch. I want to be the woman my husband desires in his dreams.
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 Well you have them and you want to tell him but cant face to face, why dont you email them to him while he is at work of leave post it notes around the house with what you want written on them, im sure itl do wonders for him, instead of him thinking you have left him reminders or instructions youve left him sexy notes.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 I think this is a very good site to read up on sex topics;-
http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/nfr_index.htm
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A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (5 March 2008):
It sounds as though you may have had some trauma associated with sex in the past. Certainly something has happened to result in not even alcohol allowing you to let your hair down more and the other things you have described.
You should know that you are not alone in this. Sometimes our childhood experiences can also have the same result. Were you brought up in a very strict family? Can you see a pattern between the things you can tell him and the things you cannot? Do you feel guilty if you talk about sexual subjects, even though you know that in a marriage such guilt should not be there?
I suggest that perhaps you have a read through different Agony Aunt or Uncle postings and select a couple that you feel you can understand what they right and that show the level of confidence you need, then message them privately and direct them to this question.
Just keep asking questions and listen carefully with your head and your heart. It can be sorted out, trust me on this.
All the best
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (5 March 2008):
 You might go to a major library, or better yet one of the big bookstores, and check out the relationship sections. I know that Barnes & Noble has a good one that includes many volumes on sexuality. Reading some of these, particularly something on Kama Sutra, might spark some sexual desire for you.
You do not mention whether you regularly experience orgasms, but if not, a book titled "She Comes First" by Dr. Ian Kerner is terrific, but it is more intended for the man to read so that he can best fulfill a woman's needs. My only thought about "fantasies" is that "reality" is better. By that I mean, simply do whatever reasonable activity satisfies both partners. If getting a little intoxicated loosens the inhibitions, for instance, then there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion.
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A
female
reader, Minxy68 +, writes (5 March 2008):
The short answer that I have for you is, write it all down then leave the letter/note around so that he can find it, he may find this quite a turn on reading your thoughts, and then he will do the prompting when it comes to the bedroom. Give it a go, you have nothing to lose and hopefully a lot to gain. If you feel more confident with a drink in you write the letter then so youre true feelings and wants will come out.
Go for it!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (5 March 2008):
Alcohol can loosen your sexual inhibitions. One has to be quite open minded when it comes to sex.
Just let yourself go and try what he wants...
You can Google that word online and fine more materials to read on.
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