A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, i'll try to make this as short as possible. I am a 19 year old female and have been in my first gay relationship with my gf for nearly a year now. in the beginning we broke up, only for a week or so, cos i felt i wasnt ready. anyway since then things have been great, i felt i loved her loads etc. recently things have been going downhill, im not sure if thats because we allowed it to go stale or if she and i just dont feel the same about each other anymore.i did nice things for her, take her out for dinner flowers treat her good etc but felt really under appreciated by her. a couple of months ago i got back in touch with a girl i was seeing before i met my current gf. we hit it off and have been meeting up, although nothings happened but we have confessed we like eachother. anyway last week things came to a head with me and my gf and we decided to split. however the very next day we decided we missed each other and got back together, i told her how i felt she took me for granted etc and she promised to make an effort to change.since then nothings really changed, she doesnt seem to want to talk to me, see me, never asks me about me how my day was etc, just generally seems like she doesnt want to be with me. im wondering if ive made the right choice. i do love her but all thats gone on has made me wonder. im scared of letting go of her after such a long time, and on top of that i have my feelings for this other girl to consider.do you think im just sticking with my gf for the sake of it becos weve been together so long? am i scared to make a break and be on my own/see how things go with this other girl? what should i do now?! HELP! thanks
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female
reader, petina1 +, writes (12 December 2010):
 You have certainly got a good bond with your girlfriend. The other stuff you will have to work at. You cant make your girlfriend change into something she isnt. There must be other things you do together that made you love her in the first place. You seem to be fault finding, is this because the other girl has shown up and you are now confused. Sometimes we can plod on quite happily until a spanner comes into the works, then all we can do is look for reasons why we shouldnt be together. Try to keep the other gf away and try to find things to keep the relationship you have now fresh, doesnt have to be doing things every day, just maybe once a month or so just to brighten things up.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 First off you should never be scared of being on your own, you are only young and have plenty of time to settle down, it seems like you are scared so much of being on your own that you dont want to end things with this girl. But ask yourself what are you getting out of this relationship? Is it enough to keep you happy? Because it sounds like it is not and that you are just staying together because you love her, but love is not enough to be with someone.
You have told her you feel like you are being taken for granted yet she hasnt changed therefore she is not going to so you need to ask yourself if you can settle for this or do you want more? If you want more out of a relationship then end it, go your seperate ways and take some time out on your own to be happy independantly. After a while then maybe you can date this other girl and see how things go but dont go straight out of a relationship in to another, take some time for yourself to sort out your feelings.
Goodluck.
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