A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok here my prob i sent some sexual emails to my ex boyfriend now he might use them against me by showing them to my parents etc which also can be used in court. reason why im saying in court because i'm pregant and he doesnt want to pay money towards his kid how do i stop him from using them or i don't know hack in and delete them myself i know this isn't legal i guess i'm trying to salvage some of my dignity etc. some of the emails are regarding photos and context of sexual favour also asking him for a baby etc and hey before you judge i was willing to try anything to keep him but now i see he's not worth it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): Did ytou pierce his condoms or did you not use any protection?
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 July 2010):
 Take it as a learning experience.. Don't email stuff you don't want thrown in your face later.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): Other than embarassing you he can't do much with them and he would still be required to pay child support. But I have a couple of questions. It sounds like you planned on having a child but did he agree to be a father? Did you give him any options after you got pregnant? It doesn't seem fair to him if he didn't agree to becoming a father ahead of time. Men should have the same options in this regard as women. No one should be forced into responsibilities they don't want.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): I'm pretty sure that you can't use photos in court because they could be doctored etc so there not evidence. However they could make people think differently of you
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 July 2010):
He can't use them. He's the father, and that's it. Speak a solicitor, just to make sure you know where you stand. But since he's the father, he has to pay. Don't be blackmailed.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (26 July 2010):
 I don't see how he could use this against you in court. I wouldn't worry about your parents. They must have had sex at least once to have you! If he started bothering them with sexual material then it could be construed as harassment by the police. If anything, the email shows that you were having some sort of interpersonal relationship of a sexual nature with this man. That would be circumstantial evidence that he is a possible candidate as the baby's father in the eyes of the court. If he refuses to pay, get the child support agency involved. It may require you both going to court to get DNA tests sorted out. However you should pursue him as he is the father and needs to take responsibility. Your child may wish to know about their father later in life too so if you have confirmed that he is the father it will simplify things.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (26 July 2010):
 Even if you wanted a baby, the fact that he still had sex with you to create it doesn't change anything in the eyes of the court. They will likely require a paternity test, but once it is establshed that this is his baby, he will likely have to take care of it. It takes two to tango after all.
Did the emails say anything about him not having to pay child support if he gave you a baby?
Emails are easy to modify, they may not even be admissable as evidence. I have no idea about that for sure though.
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