A
male
age
36-40,
*ayLovesSam
writes:Hi guys, my name is James, where do I start? ok, so I have this issue, I have no idea where it comes from, basically I am not sure if it is low self esteem, low confidence, insecure, but I need help and I need help now, I am hoping someone can advise on where I can go for help, or shed any light in to what this can be.So basically I think to much in to things, I am scared my girlfriend will leave me, I take everything to heart and it drives her away, I worry when she does not text back within minuites I am worrying like crazy, I don't feel good enough for her and I always feel like she is going to end it with me. I always feel like, if she is quiet and has not text me for ages I think why? She has been having her own issues with her mum and she is feeling down, and does not need this on her plate to, but last night, she said she needed a break (from me being so needy) but I took it as she wanted a break from us, told her to delete my number, facebook etc) she was texting me for a while saying she dont want to lose me, but today she has said she wants me to get the help and get over this before we can move on as a couple, so I have lost her because of this, this could take months to fix, what should I do? anyone else having simlar problems? I really need help but what help???!James x
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male
reader, JayLovesSam +, writes (27 July 2010):
JayLovesSam is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks guys your replies really helped me, just to let you know, were back together, but I have to get help :S dont really know what I can do but I think Nick is right, I just need to grow out of it and learn to trust, its going to be hard but I am going to beat this, Thanks so much for helping x
A
male
reader, xnickx  +, writes (26 July 2010):
 I agree. I think it would be a very sweet and caring gesture if you brought her flowers to her house, and then just explained that she means a lot to you and apologize for being so needy and that you just want to be supportive, but make sure you stand by it.
I dont think you need to go to any kind of help for this, this is something a bunch of people go through and as you learn how to handle it better etc, you'll grow out of it.
Most importantly, you need to TRUST that she's just busy which is why she isnt texting you back within a matter of minutes. Have faith in her and she'll return the favor.
And yes. take care of yourself too :) go out, and have fun with your friends. take your mind off of her, and that will automatically make you seem less needy.
Best of luck, im sure this will work out for you,
Nick.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (26 July 2010):
 well hello old me sounds so familiar i think its one of those things you go through fear at its best! if you keep thinking these things they will drive you apart and most of the time not for the best i thought i got it early enough but we still broke up in the end. you have to let go of all the fear if she doesnt text you its because she is busy! shes having issue so she needed you to be supportive not such as attention seeking. when i asked friends for help none of them had any answers that helped. except my sister! she told me that if you carry on you will loose an push any chance of any good things happening. if you dont enjoy the time you have ie by not worrying then why bother it doesnt make you or her happy! you have to let it go if you think about anything ie why hasnt she text back just go to yourself SHE IS BUSY AND WILL RESPOND WHEN READY! and if you really feel like you are seriously not good enough for her why are you bothering ? yet again another good question if she ddnt think you were worth it why would she care she would of broke it off but you pushed her to her wits end knowing she has dilemas. this is all caused by your thoughts! stop! go do more activitys anything you enjoy doing try take your mind off of thinking about those things and reassure yourself she does love you and she does think your worth it but not with your thoughts at this moment in time so fix those thoughts be supportive buy her some flowers make her feel worth it! and in time you will feel better about yourself otherwise i can only say it wont go well if you dont.. hope this helps and take care buddy keep your chin up aphex x
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