A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:me and my girlfriend have been together for 2.5 years. we are very happy and are moving in together next month.However our sex life annoys me. when we first got together I used to get oral sex from her but wasnt allowed to cum in her mouth, we had anal sex a few times and i was allowed to insert fingers into her vagina. we would do 69ers etcOf course i returned the favour, I like giving her oral sex, I like to massage her and give her her cuddles.But now im banned. Im no longer allowed to finger her, oral sex is a no-no for me, anal - no. in fact foreplay invloving my genitals is out of the question. her hands remain on my torso and upwards. she however still recives oral sex (but will now only recieve it on her back)and will still have penetration sex a few times a week. I love this girl loads but find it frustrating. her excuse i "we've been together for a while and i no longer feel i have to impress you" am i selfish?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (20 May 2009):
A lot of people go above and beyond what they would normally do to impress. Now that you are in a committed relationship she feels the deal is done and she doesn't need to do those things any more.
Personally I think it is a bit heavy handed to mislead someone like that as she has got you into a relationshop on false pretenses. Perhaps you can tell her how hurt you are that she would behave like that.
A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (19 May 2009):
 "we've been together for a while and i no longer feel i have to impress you"
I find important to keep the flame alive in a relationship. No she might not like doing certain sexual things but was it alright to pretend she did? Those things she did may have helped her to get to you. But now that she changed her mind, what will you do?
I think you should be honest with her explaining that you feel as if you've been lured into this.
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A
female
reader, Olly +, writes (19 May 2009):
 No oh my god, sounds like all she does is want want want. Tell her how you feel, If I were you I'd be upset.My boyfriend and I are very sexual, I normally ask him to cum in my mouth, its weird to me that she doesnt like this? If your girlfriend over weight or lazy? Maybe thats the problem?But to answer your question No I do not think your being selfish. She is. If I were you I would tell her to ship up or ship out.good luck :)
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A
female
reader, unhappynewlywed +, writes (19 May 2009):
hi, im probably the wrong person to answer this as im the same as you! except im the female and im the one whos 'banned'!! If i was your girlfriend i would feel very lucky to have a guy like you!!All i can suggest is that you speak to her about this and find out whats the matter with her. especially before you move in together. If she did those things at the beginning then there should be no reason why she shouldnt do them now unless she really just couldnt stand doing it and was just trying to please you in which case she wasnt being true to herself or to you.I really would advise to not take this relationship any further (ie move in together) until you have some answers and are happy with everything.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): I don't think your selfish, I think she sounds a little bit selfish. It was wrong of her to pretend to be someone she wasn't in the bedroom. She should not have done that to you. I would seriously consider ending the relationship as it probably won't change and she should have been upfront about her feelings in the bedroom as that can make or break a relationship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Option A: sit her down and discuss how you feel about your sex life. Communication is always the first step. Option B: stop shaving, brushing your teeth, leave the toilet seat up and come home when you feel like it, and don't answer her calls. Then when she asks WTF is going on? You smile and say" we've been together for awhile now I don't feel I need to impress you!"
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A
female
reader, Lina319  +, writes (19 May 2009):
 No you are not selfish. I have witnessed a lot of couples do that to one another, and not just in the sex department. Frequent phone calls turn into none, kissing and cuddling every night wind up becoming only once a week, and the partner who stops the behavior leaves their partner in utter confusion and irritation. As for her " I no longer have to impress you" comment, that was kind of childish, and a tad bit rude. This has nothing to do with impressing, it's just the normal things couples should WANT to do in a relationship. She seems to be the selfish one, she gets penetrated and gets oral but denies you the same same pleasure in the latter. I would advise you to have a talk with her without coming off like a horny jerk off. Don't demand anything out of her, just have a real heart to heart with her, and mention that although oral, and anal sex isn't the most important thing in your relationship, it WAS a part of a healthy sex life, one where both your needs and hers were fulfilled.
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