A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I have sex very irregularly these days. It seems like it is at the utmost bottom of his list of priorities, if he even considers it a priority. I have talked to him about it a few times and he sort of brushes it aside and the last time made me feel like a bastard for raising the issue yet again. I have gone past feeling frustrated about it and now just feel really really sad to the point of crying about it. It is eating me up inside. I really love him and I know he loves me back. I don't know what to do or think anymore. Any help appreciated. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty Sarah  +, writes (15 June 2007):
 Where has the trust gone in your relationship? If you both truly love each other, then you should be able to talk about this with each other. Yes, maybe he has a problem, then he should share it with you. If he can't tell you, then why? What I am going to suggest may be extreme, but I feel that you are now desparate for some thing to change. Arrange to go away for a few days to a friends/family or just book yourself into a hotel, somewhere not too far away, but some where he con not conact you. Write him a letter about how you feel and how you want to understand and support him through what ever it is that is troubling him. Don't ring him. State in the letter that you have gone away for a few days to give him space, state a time and day that you will be home and tell him that when you come back, you are both going to sit down and talk. I feel that he needs backing into a corner on this one!
A
female
reader, Skeez +, writes (15 June 2007):
 There could be a number of reasons why he doesnt have sex with you that much.
1. He may be upset about something. If he works he could be piled up with stress and that can lower sexual interest.
2. He may have depression. Lower sexual interest is one of the aspects that occur in depression and its not his fault he doesnt want to do it.
3. He may just not be the sexual type.
Sit him down...tell him your sorry that you hve to bring this up again, but you are feeling very sad and you want to know the reason why he doesnt want to have sex with you.
This can be very stressful in a relationship and can spark up the thought that he doesnt love you anymore...and Im very sure he does love you, he just may have something on his mind that is worrying him. Dont pressure him into telling you everything at that moment, give him time to express how he feels gradually. Dont pressure him to have sex with you, not until he feels comfatable with it.
Im possitive you will both sought this problem out.
Goodluck
xxxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): Hiya darling,
Well you have spoken to him, he has made you feel bad for trying to talk, I no how very frustrating this can be also how it can make you feel undesirable..
But your not undesirable, he may be having a few problems and may be scared to tell you, How long has this been going on? As you cant talk with him that must drive you nuts so it gets more frustrating for you love, I no you are feeling like you want to shake it out of him and get to the bottom of all this....
Im going to tell you to leave it for awhile dont mention it and try as hard as you can to act as if everything is just fine (HARD I NO) if he has got a problem it may all work out by itself he may be stressed by it all to.
Dont take it to seriously at the moment see if it gets better, If in time it doesnt then your going to have to talk again, Are the other areas of your relationship as they used to be? Has anything else changed. If you are feeling down hun you can talk with me anytime, all i no is that when i had this problem with my husband there were underlying issues. I do hope i have helped a little it is a very hurtfull situation to be in when your partner wont talk about it, that just makes it ten times worse. You take care now look after you much love xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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