A
female
age
30-35,
*indestress
writes:ok, so heres alittle backround..i have been with him for two years, and we had sex for the first time a year and a half ago. We have never had problems with it, and it has never interfered with our relationship. However, we have done it in some..well "out there" places. Last night, we were in his car and engaged in foreplay. He had a box of condoms..and i wanted to have sex. He kept mentioning how he just wanted to chill out and relax for a while, then he revealed that it was because it didn't feel right in the car. Is this just an excuse? Am I overlooking something? I mean after all, we are teenagers and I just find it weird. PLEASEE HELP!!!
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condom, engaged, foreplay Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dindestress +, writes (15 December 2009):
dindestress is verified as being by the original poster of the question thankyou 1605:) lol and anonymous i apreciate your input!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): Appologies Dindestress, I read things wrong. No sex, just foreplay... Men are like women, sometimes they don't feel in the mood. Nothing to do with you, nothing wrong or broken, that's how it goes sometimes, don't worry about it. As you say, you have no problems listening to his concerns, and he should have no problems listening to yours. I suggest you actually go and talk to him, and ask him if you turned him off that night, or if it was just one of those things. Talking to him about your feelings should bring you both closer. (posted again, with my name this time)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): Appologies Dindestress, I read things wrong. No sex, just foreplay... Men are like women, sometimes they don't feel in the mood. Nothing to do with you, nothing wrong or broken, that's how it goes sometimes, don't worry about it. As you say, you have no problems listening to his concerns, and he should have no problems listening to yours. I suggest you actually go and talk to him, and ask him if you turned him off that night, or if it was just one of those things. Talking to him about your feelings should bring you both closer.
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A
male
reader, justtesting  +, writes (1 December 2009):
Was he stressed over something? Stress can be a real turn-off when it comes to sex. Maybe you're just reading too much into it?
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A
female
reader, dindestress +, writes (29 November 2009):
dindestress is verified as being by the original poster of the questionacually Miamine, i decided that i wasn't going to force him into anything he didn't want to do, and we ended up not doing it afterall. so please, if you could the comments about " not thinking about what he wants " i'd really appreciate it:)
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A
male
reader, mr motivator  +, writes (28 November 2009):
Maybe he said he enjoyed it last time just to please you it wouldnt be the first time someone has told a white lie for the benefit of a loved one
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (28 November 2009):
 Maybe he just didnt want his car to get all messy.. my boyfriend is pretty protective of his.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (28 November 2009):
 "i wanted to have sex. He kept mentioning how he just wanted to chill out and relax for a while, then he revealed that it was because it didn't feel right in the car." Quote
He told you how he felt, for whatever reason, probably because it was either embarrasing, cold or a turn off, your guy wasn't interested.. But YOU wanted to have sex, you didn't listen to how he felt, you wanted what you wanted, and he played along.
What's wrong with chilling out, why can't a guy just relax sometimes, why dose he always have to be a studmuffin constantly on call. Listen more carefully to his needs sometimes. Men are human, they have their hangup's, sometimes they like to kiss and cuddle too, sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. Treat the guy how you would like to be treated. Reverse the situation, how would you feel if you were not in the mood and some guy was demanding off you.. Have a little pity for the male people, and listen to when they say that they don't feel comfortable.
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A
female
reader, dindestress +, writes (28 November 2009):
dindestress is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou anonymous, but the problem is that we acually have done it in the car before:/ and he enjoyed it last time:(
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 November 2009):
The poor boy probably just wasn't in the mood!
Everyone has times when they aren't in the mood.
He just wanted to hang out with you. Be glad you have a guy who likes you as a person and not just as someone to have sex with.
Good Luck!! xx
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