A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Looking for some advice; I'm a 23 year old female, and I've never had sex. It's not a question or beliefs, or prudishness- it's just not something that ever happened. In highschool and university I hung out mainly with other girls, and I never really seemed to find a niech in the dating scene. I'm bi-sexual (something I've only discovered in the last three years) and I've come close to finding female hook ups. There have been a few guys I've been close with but nothing has ever propperly happened. Basically, I feel (and have felt for the last few years) like an old maid. I don't want to rush into something just because I'm getting up in years, but I also don't want this thing hanging over my head every time I find myself attracted to someone. I find myself continuously attracted to guys in relationships or straight girls, which also doesn't seem to help. Help!
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female
reader, TeaLady  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 You are still very very young. Besides most sex in your twenties is totally lame. And all sex you are not really ready for or with the wrong people is a nightmare. So basically you are the only one that can know for sure when and where and with whom you will want to be with sexually. It is your body and mind. There is not a perfect age. Better to wait a little longer than do it before you are ready and regret it. Never settle for sex when you want love.
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (22 February 2011):
 "I'm a 23 year old female, and I've never had sex." I would keep this to yourself because there are some cruel people out there who would want to be your first and then disappear.
It's a fine line between being overly aggressive and proactive. I suggest choosing someone around you and give them a nice, long, slow, kiss and leave it up to them to keep things going "in the moment". Take your time. Some things are worth waiting for and this is one of them.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (22 February 2011):
 At 23 you're hardly getting up there in years. You've got plenty of time.
From the sounds of it, you haven't really done any dating, is that correct?
Have you had anyone ask you out? Have you attempted to get out there in the dating world?
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A
female
reader, The Girl with the Diver's Hair  +, writes (22 February 2011):
I know that this may seem weird and all but have you ever thought of online dating. I mean it could help you to find someone who you can be in a relationship with and then you can have sex with. To be honest it kind of makes sense but you seem so so yound to be trying it so just see how it goes. Meet new people when you hang out with your friends at bars and restaraunts etc. Explore! You'll find someone who is both bi and makes you happy.
Good Luck. E x
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (22 February 2011):
I know that the whole "there's someone out there for you," bit of advice isn't particularly fun to hear... but its honestly true. There is someone out there for you.
BUT!!! That does not mean you should sit idly by and assume they'll show up on your door step. Try and get out more in general. Call up old friends to go out for drinks or somewhere fun. Get excited about meeting new people! Meet some "friends of friends of friends, etc." There is always someone new out there; its just about seeking them out and connecting with them.
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