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writes: I have been with my 39 yr old bf for 3 yrs. He is so unaffectionate and I am complete opposite. I care about him but when I try to talk to him about this he acts concerned, but his actions always remain the same. Sex 4 times a year, no hand holding or even sitting next to me ever. He has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 13. He never gets mad at her but gets mad a me and my 3 yr old son for "breaking a dish". I feel like he loves his daughter and cannot bear to make her angry, but really doesn't care about what I think. Should I get rid of him? I don't want to feel like 2nd place forever. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): It never chages.I love my partner, we've been together a long time; and I have made my choice to stay with him because I am utterly depressed without him and cannot move on. (I tried for two years at one point.)If you can get out, and survive out; find someone who deserves you. Someone who will cuddle and kiss you, and who will want to sleep with you all the time; lust is the passion of love coming through. You deserve it.I wish you both luck from the bottom of my cold and lonesome heart. Don't give up.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006): I am 17 years in with a man exactly like the one you have, think you can save him and find that soft spot that shows itself once every two months or so? Think again, don't do like I did and waste another 14 years for something that isn't there, consider your three wasted years a lesson and get out now, trust me I know, I am you 14 years later. Good luck sweety
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006): Get rid of this cold bozo and allow yourself space to get with a guy who understands affection. I would say that your relationship has run it's course.
Best of luck for the future
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female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (9 January 2006):
 You need to be with someone who is affectionate and loving because these characteristics are important to you! If he hasn't been affectionate and loving in the past, then he isn't going to change because it isn't in his nature.
I'm sure that there are many men out there who would love to be sexually intimate with you, hold your hand, sit next to you, and do all of those special things that mean so much to you. They would, in turn, appreciate the affectionate gestures that you make toward them instead of giving you the cold shoulder. Get rid of this one, and find yourself one of the affectionate ones!
You deserve a better man who cares about what you think and what your needs are, and your 3-year-old deserves a better father figure who will be patient and loving, not short-tempered and cold.
You've already answered your own question. Break up with him, and stop being second place!
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female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (9 January 2006):
Any relationship with a cold/brutal/short tempered man is only for the person with low self esteem. You stayed with him because you think you love him and he might change.Thats your biggest hope but you can do better for yourself.
Do yourself and your 3 year old a B--I--G favour and dump him.No child should be bullied in the way he does your child. You are already 2nd place in his life so move on.
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