A
female
age
30-35,
*itaeffigy
writes:What do I do? I love my boyfriend - he's perfect for me and I can't imagine being apart. We started dating this past summer before I went to a college 12 hours away, and our sex life was really fun and enjoyable. I have a muscle weakness that doesn't really allow me to be on top when we have sex, but he said he didn't mind. The only thing is that he doesn't like going down on girls. It doesn't matter, but I always thought that was a pretty big double standard when it comes to wanting bjs. Whatever. Anyway, I spent my 1 1/2 months of winter break at his apartment, and over that time our sexing became completely different. I can generally orgasm during sex. I couldn't as often during winter break because I would give him foreplay, and instead of returning it, we would just have sex. He would come just as I was warming up. I didn't know what to think. There was a week long period where we had sex almost every day and he didn't finger me once. WTF?One night I asked him to finger me, and he said yes (great joy). The entire time he lay motionless on his side with one hand covering his face. WTF?We bought the "him" and "her" KY jelly and his bottle is half gone, while mine remains full. WTF?The night before my birthday, he played L4D2 for 4 hours, and wouldn't have sex with me because he was too tired. On my birthday, he played an incredible amount of Left For Dead, asked for (and received) a blow job, and would not pleasure me or have sex with me. WHAT THE F***????I don't know what to do. I'm back at college, and I don't know how to bring it up. I never said anything, except jokingly about giving HIM a blow job on MY birthday. I know I'm overreacting, but I'm so furious, and very frustrated. It really upsets me. I'm afraid of making him angry by calling him a selfish lover.
View related questions:
blow-job, foreplay, muscle, orgasm, period, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (8 February 2010):
 First things first -
He isn't perfect for you. If he were, you wouldn't be complaining about his selfishness.
Secondly, he is being incredibly selfish, and stand up to him and TELL HIM!! You can't expect this to just sort itself out, he won't change unless there's some prompting from you. Unfortunately he can't see for himself how selfish he's being, so you need to tell him and say you're not going to put up with it.
If I were you I'd just break up with him... but I'm not you. If you want to stay and try and change him - good luck. But if he continues being selfish, look elsewhere. You could do better.
A
male
reader, Neboraic  +, writes (7 February 2010):
He is being selfish, the only thing you can do is tell him, everything your unhappy about. If hes a good guy then he will change. In relationships there is a lot of give and take, not take and take.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): Its slap time, and yelling time. Dont put them off or it will just get worse.
You need to talk about what is going on in your love life and why he doesnt want to give the pleasure from sex?
Dont be afraid to talk about what you like and enjoy, you have the right to orgasms too
...............................
A
female
reader, ritaeffigy +, writes (7 February 2010):
ritaeffigy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didn't say he'd rather masturbate. I used the lotion on him.
I don't know what to say. I am sure he loves me. We've been talking about moving west next year, we talk on the phone for hours every night, and our relationship is fairly stable. I just don't think he appreciates me sexually, and I was looking for advice on how to talk to him about it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): I think you should be asking yourself another question, like why doesn't like having sex with you? He is covering his face? rather masturbate then have sex with you? Honey all the signs are there you just need to accept them... Im sorry but, he's just not that into you and sounds like he is moving on.
...............................
|
