A
female
age
30-35,
*)31215
writes:I'm kinda scared of actually getting married.All of these stories on here about one partner cheating on another, or leaving because of unhappy marriage, etc etc.Is there such thing as a happy marriage?I know I am only 18, and believe me, I'm not planning on getting married yet.My parents have an okay marriage, except they don't sleep in the same bed, or do stuff like hold hands, or cuddle up on the sofa. They also said they were going to get a divorce, about 4 years ago, but they never did, they stayed together for me and my brother.On the other hand, my boyfriend's parents are more of what I want when I'm older. they sleep in the same bed, they hold hands in public and still cuddle on the sofa. My boyfriends dad greets his wife with "hey, beautiful" or "morning, gorgeous", like they're still in their honeymoon period (they've been married 25(?) years, my parents have been married 23)I get that marriage is hard, that you BOTH have to work to keep it together and to keep happy, I just don't want to fall out of love with whomever I marry.Me and my current boyfriend do talk about marriage, but I wouldn't get married now, so early, especially when I don't have any money to have a proper life with him. We've also talked about moving in together when we have proper jobs.I also know that we may not even end up living together, we're just enjoying loving each other right now.We're pretty much still in the hoonymoon period. We've been together for over 2 1/2 years, and his face still lights up when he sees me, and I still get mini butterflies when I think about going to see him (only at the weekends :( and we sleepover).Sorry it's so long... I'm just really wondering if there is such a thing as a happy marriage...?Thanks in advance, any comments will be great.Even better if you can give me an example of your own happy marriage :)Thanks guys.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, :)31215 +, writes (25 January 2011):
:)31215 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou, what a great answer :)
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (24 January 2011):
 Of course there is such a thing as a happy marriage. You just have to find the right person and be cautious of WHEN you get married. People often get married too quickly, sometimes after about 2 or 3 years, sometimes after only a month! Far too early to get married and some people get impatient which only wounds the relationship. People will always be doubtful and nowadays it is hard to truly trust anyone, even the people you love the most. You can trust them with your lives but you cannot trust them with your heart.
If you find the right person, marriage does not have to be so difficult but it will still require effort. Effort to show your partner how much you love them, effort to make sure they are happy. Marriage is a symbiotic bond and you have to remember why marriage was meant to last forever. Because if you find the right person, even after 25 years you will still love each other, even after 75 years, you might still light up when you see each other. It sounds fantastical and almost impossible to some but that is only because they have not found the right person. Granted, even if you DO find the right person, you are bound to have your problems but then it becomes a question of whether or not you wish to surrender. Some people run from confrontation. Some people simply cannot gather the courage to face problems head on with their partner when it is necessary but you cannot behave that way.
It is best to wait a long time, getting to know your partner and taking small steps before you get married, build respect and trust between you so that if an affair even crosses your mind, you will swell with guilt inside simply because you respect your partner enough.
I hope that helps.
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