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Said he wants to marry me, but he also said he had the perfect girl and he lost her. I need some advice about this relationship

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 May 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 May 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and we have both fallen for each other "in love". Currently I notice that all of the women in his previous relationships have started to pop up. Giving him phone calls questioning our relationship asking if he truly happy with me and asking him what happened between the two of them were did they go wrong. And oh how they miss what they had together.

I am there while these conversations are being made and his response is he tells them that he is happy right now and has fallen in love and they need to understand that.

But a recent conversation got to me. We were hanging out one day with friends of ours and he was openly talking to a guy friend at the park that we were hanging out at and I overheard him talk about him having one of his exes on his mind for a whole week. And he does not know why he has been thinking about her, so he decided to call her to see if he's really over her.

Long story short they were on the phone for two hours And the ex that he was talking to told him that she doesn't understand where they went wrong and she was willing to do anything to make the relationship work but he wasn't ready he was a womanizer and that is what ruined the relationship.

So she asked him if hes truly happy with who he is with now. And he answered to her yes. Her response is "oh you took a while to say yes that your happy are you sure you are doesn't sound like it." Then she said to him you had something great and now you lost it.

Then I over hear my boyfriend ending the conversation with his friend "yeah had the perfect package and I lost it I am happy with what I have. She's super but damn I had the perfect package and I lost it". I am kind of hurt because I feel that if one is in love you shouldn't be thinking about those in your past relationship ,I never do But he always does. This is a person that has told me that they want to get married to me and have a future with me. But sometimes I really dont know if he really wants that.

View related questions: his ex, womaniser

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011):

dont you think you deserve more? Living your life as second best isnt fair. So dump him big times.

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A female reader, HoneyEyedLatina United States +, writes (20 May 2011):

HoneyEyedLatina agony auntDump his sorry ass! First off, his exes shouldn't be calling him up and asking about his relationship as it is none of their damn business! Just like the other reader said "you are not his first choice". Imagine having that in the back of your mind for the rest of your life. I can't even believe he said all that to his friend knowing that you were in ear shot range and could hear everything. What's gonna happen if this chick starts to pop up in his life and wants to hang out? Is he gonna get more hung up over this chick? You have two options here. WEll actually three.

1. Forget about it and pretend nothing happened. (please don't do that)

2. Dump him and find someone who would choose you first!

3. Confront him and tell him what you heard and get this straightened out.

Honestly, I would suggest leaving him. That's a pretty painful thing to hear. Keep us posted!

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A female reader, me81 United States +, writes (19 May 2011):

me81 agony auntI can totally relate to this... I've been in the position of your bf, and I think anyone could relate to this actually. I have being so in love in the past but he wasn't feeling the same so I let them go, so to be able to move on you spend time alone but there's always someone who wants to be in your life, so I gave them a chance wanting to make the best of it. I seen myself having fun with this new person because we get along really well and they treat me good, but realistically I don't feel the "rush" nor the "sparkle" with this person, so different than what I had in the past, so of course, if my ex calls me and tells me that they still have feeling for me, it would mess with my head big time. I would suggest you to give him a break, you already hear it from him, and you don't deserve that, you deserve someone who wants YOU and has no doubts. Maybe he needs to not take you for granted to really appreciate you.

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