A
female
age
36-40,
*ovepink77
writes:My bf and I have been together for 3 years. He just got a house for us and then recently proposed to me. Of course I said yes, because I love him so much and can't imagine life without him...the only thing is we fight a lot. After the proposal I wanted everything to go perfect...I was going to work on my yelling and he would work on his anger.Since then we both haven't been doing very well and we both recently kinda of spilled that maybe we aren't "the one" for eachother. We love eachother,but it's not enough....what really sucks though is that we were happy and "in love" at one point. It seems we are either sticking around so both of us can live in this nice house and be well off financially, or maybe we're still hopeful that we will get back what we used to have....I'm actually not sure which one,but I would love to makes things work out. We both have said many things that point to GET OUT NOW before you're married,but when it comes down to it, it's not so bad and could get better. Do I risk love with someone else who I have more of a real connection with and stay? Or do I risk the time,money,memories,tears and family that we have shared and just move on before my life changes even more with marriage?! All i know is that it's a scary thought to think of everyone seeing us split....as well as how devastated I would be. Help?!?!
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female
reader, laxjul22 +, writes (3 February 2011):
I will say this... If anyone told you that being in love is easy... THEY LIED! Sit back and really think about if you love him or not. If the answer is no then leave the relationship. If the answer is yes then you and him need to find a way to work things out. Every couple goes through rough periods and its the ones that are meant to be together that pull through
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): Caring guy couldn't have said it better.
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A
female
reader, shnookims  +, writes (19 January 2011):
 I disagree... I rate, if things get really bad call off the engagement and then see where things go from there so you can make an accurate assessment of this relationhsip.
Getting engaged (like really engaged not teenage engaged) is taking the relaitonhsip to the next level, there's a lot more pressure. Moving in together is pretty crazy but I believe that getting married is even more so.
I have been engaged for 2 years now, getting married in ocotber, but the first few months after he propsed we fought more than we ever had before even though we had a daughter already. Actually, the first week after we got engaged we had our worst fight, EVER! We're back where we were in the beginning of the relationship now in the sense of things are new and exciting. give it a chance but don't put any more pressure on yourselves than you have to. You don't want to make the mistake of being under 25 and already divorced or wanting one.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 January 2011):
The problem with love is that it can be very misleading. It can play tricks. It can make make you think things can get better, when they can't. It can make people seem better, when they're not. It can be the best thing on earth, or the biggest con.
Here's a figure for you - 70% of women polled over the age of 40 said their biggest mistake was marrying/living with the wrong man. That's a lot of unhappy women!
This is where you need to think. Everything here points that you two are not suited. You're arguing too much, you've admitted that you're worried you're staying around for safety rather than love, you've said you're not 'in love' particularly, and you've admitted that there are 'GET OUT NOW' signs.
But you're allowing this idea of 'love' to play tricks.
You two have been together for 3 years, and all you do is argue. That's it. All those memories mean nothing if you two can't live together. And it doesn't seem like you can.
You do not want to join the 70% of regretful women. There is someone out there that you will have a stronger connection with. I think it's time to move on from this, before you spend a lot of money on something that will inevitably fail.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): Have you tried relationship counseling miss?
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