A
male
age
36-40,
*rOveranalysing
writes:Say you like someone pretty early on, and you suspect they like you but don't liiiikkke you (or are undecided at that time)...Have you ever had an experience where you started to crush on someone years after you've met them or even months? Do most people know quite early on (I know I do)? Obviously if you've been let down, best to let go, and if it happens its a pleasant surprise.
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female
reader, TEM  +, writes (5 May 2011):
 Attraction is a fickle thing. It happens all sorts of ways. There is love at first sight, I have experienced that. You feel as if you have been struck. You make eye contact with this person and are almost knocked over by the emotion you feel. This love is based in emotion and is superficial because all you know about them is their looks. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't.
There is also the love that grows on you. I've experienced that too. The person starts off as a friend, and after a while you develop feelings for them. The more you get to know them, the stronger you feel about them. For women, and I know this to be true, an average looking guy can become handsome in our eyes if there are things about them we really like. Charm wins out over looks and love grows. This love is reality based, and usually works out well.
Feeling attraction years after you have met someone is, in my opinion, based in fantasy. You have thought about them and imagined what they are like, imagined what it would be like to be with them. This is the stuff of unrequited love and it is sometimes painful to live with.
If you like someone, and you think they might like you, the best thing to do is ask them to do something with you to get to know them better. You might even say to them, "I'd like to get to know you better. Would you like to meet, for coffee, have a picnic, walk our dogs, etc. etc." My point is to ask them to do something simple, and nonthreatening. Get to know them and love might grow.
A
male
reader, jc2008 +, writes (5 May 2011):
I tend to be one who suffers from "love at first sight" either I like them or I don't though I did have one situation where I fell for someone i'd known (though only as an aquaintance) for 3 years! It don't work out though. It is possible tho in my case my circumstances changed so thats what triggered it really.
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