A
female
age
51-59,
*aria Grizzo
writes:I have some American friends and I have a question to American women and men.My male friends there tell me that women there love money only and all the men are afraid to have a relationship because they want to get marriaged fast and use the men´s money. That USA women don't want to work and uses sex in marriage to exchange for money from the husband. And also they ask for divorce and want all the men´s money.In the other way, I see the American men talks badly about American women but LOVES them. Looks like they want all this that they talk about. And also, the female friends tell me that American men don't care about the woman´s sexuality, and they only care about themselves in bed. They want their pleasure, and they don't care and treat the women with respect.They dont have foreplay, and talk a lot about lubrification to go straight to sex.A friend in special loves foreign women - but young and beautiful ones, but also LOVEs the American women that he says so badly about .He is all the time with friends on phone and he practically do everything for them - gifts, shower them with eveything!!!He doesn't care if his wife knows or not. He also introduces all his friends to his wife and tells her that they are just friends, but we (his friends) know that he is flirting with them. I dont understand.I´d love to go to America and know about the Country.Could you tell me if those people are common there? or if I have wrong friends?
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female
reader, Maria Grizzo +, writes (28 October 2013):
Maria Grizzo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much. Yes,I am sure now that I have the wrong friends. Sorry about that,but I only know them and I really wanted to know another American people side. it is not that I believe that all Americans are like that,but I was curious to hear your oppinion,since I have no idea what´s going on there. In a way it helped me to chose friends carefully now. Thank you so much.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2013): Though you post has a lot assumptions and stereotypical view on how American woman and men are, there are certain traits in every nation that are typical for a certain area. American women are so well trained by American men to pay for themselves everywhere they go , that American men have no right to complain about that part. An example, that actually happened to me. I had to drink once more than I ussualy do and met a guy at the bar, we desided to have sex, but no one had condoms. When we got to pharmacy he actually asked me to split the cost of condoms. In Europe men that invite you out, ussualy pay for you, in America is a rare occasion, everything needs to be split. Though now with young generation even in Europe it doesn't go anymore without saying that guys pay for girls, there are variations Sex: I travel a lot, and believe me, men in every country can be good caring lovers and bad lovers. It solely depends on their personality. I had excellent and awfull lovers in Italy, I had excellent and terrible lovers in US. Actually the one who was the best of all was an American guy. All women like money. This is somewhat our job to choose a mate who will provide. We can have endless conversations about equality which are so popular on this site, but the fact is that it is a woman's job to raise children. And this is a job to find a provider for our children. What American men are trying to do is diminish their role as a main provider in a family, inserting equality topic everywhere possible. This is where these conversations come from that women on,y want money. It's not true, of course, women in US want to security as everywhere else, it's just men in US are not ambitios enough to be good providers.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (27 October 2013):
In general, women of all countries want money, as it is the equivalent of security which is something women have wanted since the beginning of time.
I have known women from all over and the majority want security.
As far as men being selfish... I'm guessing that is also true no matter where you come from. Some men are just selfish.
When you hear these stereotypical things you have to remember that the people saying them don't often have any intimate experience with other cultures, so they don't have much to compare it to.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (27 October 2013):
 i don't think that stereotype about american women being money hungry is very accurate. however, i've never really experienced any other culture, so i can't say in comarison.
of course, there are SOME women here who are money hungry and only want to marry rich men or use them for their money. but then again, there are women like that in every country, i would imagine. i work in a bar, and i have a lot of regulars who are lawyers and doctors that come in with different young women every night. the men buy them drinks and god knows what else, and the women expect this. perhaps they put out, as well. so yeah, this happens a bit. but in general, most women here just want to find a good guy, fall in love, and get married - not for their money, but for their companionship. maybe your friend who told you this spent his time in the company of these particular type of people. but i would say that's not the majority.
your comment about sex, sadly, is pretty accurate. i'm gay, so i can't really attest to this being true or not. however, if you peruse through this site, you'd come across countless questions from women talking about this very thing; men only getting theirs and not caring if they satisfy their woman's needs. no foreplay, etc. also, i have many, many straight female friends who talk about sex with men, and how most of the time, they are extremely unsatisfied, as they never get off and their boyfriends don't ever make effort to please them. once again, this isn't EVERYONE. there are plenty of men who would do anythinig to please their woman in bed. it all just depends on the person.
so basically, all in all, of course there are people like the ones your friend described. but don't think that everyone here is like that. you should come visit and find out for yourself!
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A
male
reader, hardinproper +, writes (27 October 2013):
Money here in the USA means way too much to everyone, and the sick part about it is that most don't even realize just how much it not only affects, but controls so many aspects of our lives. We are slaves to the dollar; and because of this we must also become slaves to our jobs, and THAT is why so many Americans haven't time for much else but work. I know, because my mother was like this when I was growing up. She had very little time for me, anyone, or anything besides work, and when she WAS around, she was usually tired from work and in a bad mood. Anyway, my point is, that everything here is about money, which makes everyone shallow and selfish and unable and/or unwilling to put much of themselves into anything except work, and this makes a whole lot of Americans seem kinda shitty when it comes right down to it. I spent a lot of time in the Philippines and I was amazed at how much happier the people are there, people that are dirt poor and don't have much when viewed from an American perspective, people that a lot of Americans would automatically look down upon. Yes, we Americans do have much more than most other countries when it comes to money and possessions, but in reality the price we pay is enormous when it comes right down to it. And the worst part is that most Americans are totally blind to what they actually give up and only continue to pummel their way through each day, over anyone and anything they must, on their pitiful way to happiness that they will never attain because they don't understand what it really is or where it comes from in the first place. I am one American that figured this out, or to be honest, stumbled upon it and decided to pay enough mind to ponder it all long enough to start making sense of it. But with this 'knowledge' comes the torment of being unable of somehow making everyone here understand how warped and twisted and wrong the American perception of reality has become, how arrogant and narrow-minded that money has made us! Money has given us such a blatant sense of superiority; 'we need nothing because we have everything here in America', and this snootiness is also accompanied by the foolishness of thinking we are always right about everything and, not to mention, that we are better than everyone else. I love America, yes, but I am embarrassed by the things I have mentioned above. True happiness comes from doing good things, not because others might be watching me, but because I am watching me. It's a shame that so many people have lost sight of this, how so many things seem to be given only to get something in return. I also can tell you from personal experience that as riches grow so also do worries, troubles, and I'll never forget how many more so-called 'friends' I had when I had more money! To anyone from another country that dreams of coming here to America: this is a great and beautiful country with a lot to offer, but know that what we view as our prosperity is also our affliction. Don't get me wrong, most Americans are good people, but we have become lost, I feel, as to what life is supposed to be about; from birth we are brought up in a society where money deeply colors everything that we know, so much that it has actually crippled us to reality. Money does not equal freedom, but yet the two are viewed as synonomous, not only by Americans but to the whole world as well. In my opinion, the only thing that money has to do with freedom is that the more money we want, the more freedom we must be willing to give; not necessarily as a permanent sacrifice, but it must be given nonetheless. Many Americans do make this sacrifice. They go to college, study for years and years to achieve their goal, then suddenly realize one day that they can't stand doing what they've spent all those years learning what it is they do. Then what?
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 October 2013):
Hi there. The information you have been given, is a very narrow view of what is the actual truth about life, in general.
It has possibly been this person's experience with some people he has known there.
This is not to say it doesn't happen at all.
It can happen, yes.
But it certainly is not every single woman in America, or every single man in America, by any means.
It is just the personal experience of this friend of yours.
Or maybe not HIS experience as such, but that he knows a few men and women there, who just happened to have had those unfortunate experiences.
And so to say that every American man and every American woman is like that, is simply unrealistic.
Everyone is different, with no two alike.
If you want to go and visit the USA, why not go on holidays there for a few weeks?
Some people have great relationships, and some have not so great relationships.
And over the years before we meet our perfect match, we have probably all had some relationships that we would like to forget, for sure.
It is all a part of our life journey.
Perhaps you are referring to some long term marriages, where the couple has been married for 25 plus years, and where they are both in the mid 40's to 50's and older, and they have perhaps become a bit bored with each other.
Or may be in a bit of a rut.
And in the few occasions where people might start to fight over their differences, some bitterness can come into it, and wanting to take it out on the other, and so they may become a little unreasonable in their divorce settlements - if it comes to divorce, that is.
People are the same, the world over.
It doesn't matter what country you live in, we are human - and that's what we share, anywhere in the world.
It is nothing unique to America, and of course it is not every American man and woman.
And it is no different to any other country in the world.
We can make our relationships however we want them to be, we don't have to feel like a victim in life.
It is up to us, if we don't like something - we say something.
We don't just let it go, and pretend it doesn't exist.
If there is a problem of any kind in a relationship, we need to speak up and be heard, and make ourselves clear - so we can change how things are.
It is entirely up to us.
If we are unhappy about something in a relationship, we don't have to go on putting up with it.
We CAN do something to make it better.
Good communication is an excellent start, and it can do wonders.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (27 October 2013):
 You have the wrong friends.Your "friend" obviously has a very backwards and misogynistic view of women in general, and has absolutely no idea how to socialize and be friendly with women at all.Today's modern American woman can be fiercely independent, financially stable and totally secure even when not married or in any kind of relationship. This means that men have to EARN our trust and love through being a good person and a mature, compassionate and emotionally supportive partner instead of just a means to get out of Mom and Dad's house, like marriage used to be viewed. We can't be bought with presents, we just expect a man to be as stable and financially independent as we are.Because of this, your friend is completely intimidated and lost, and has no idea how to act around American women. That's why he loves foreign women, because they typically come from a much more old-fashioned culture and are much more dependent on men, and therefor will "put up" with a LOT MORE ABUSE and nonsense than American women.Why on earth would you want to be friends with a misogynist? Women are half the people on the planet. Hating women for being smart and self-sufficient is the most ridiculous idea in the world.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (26 October 2013):
 You have the wrong friend.
How can you take the opinion of one man that ALL american men and women behave like this???
Does he know ALL men and women in america?
To be honest he sounds like a creepy old pervert who's cheating on his wife and letching after young women (thats why he showers them with gifts...to get their attention)
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