A
female
age
30-35,
*eepinlove
writes:dear people, I need help - me and by boyfriend have been going out for 5 years, I never used to wonder if he was gay until recently, I mean he has a friend who acts so strange and seeing them both together makes me wonder what kind of relationship they have.Anyways I recently looked at his phone history and found out he went to a gay website. I don't know what that means and he acts suspicious whenever we talk about gay people. I really just want to know the truth, can someone help me understand what's going on with my boyfriend? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 November 2008):
 I guess you're in the same situation you were before. We still can't tell for sure.
A
female
reader, deepinlove +, writes (5 November 2008):
deepinlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello its me again. i am really confused because my boyfriend acts straight around me but when i look at his phone i find hes been to gay websites like blackass.com black.com and when hes around this one friend he relates more to him than me.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (15 October 2008):
First, don't rush to conclusions.
I don't think I could give you an opinion with this little information. However, I suppose you saw more than what you were able to describe to us. Maybe if you elaborate a little we will help you better?
All I can offer is this. I knew this couple who were very happily married. He was a lawyer I used to work for. The man had a close friend, who happened to be much younger. I had just finished college, and that other guy was like my age, while the lawyer was at least 20 years our senior. They behaved in a manner similar to what you describe.
Later, it turned out that the young man was gay. Everyone believe he was after the old man. But then, years later, it turned out the lawyer was gay, too.
But, like I said, don't rush to conclusions. I don't think this uncertainty will leave you easily. Keep an eye open, and, if you find something else, please tell us.
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A
female
reader, xelax  +, writes (15 October 2008):
When he is with yu does he act weird? does he like spending time with u? does he like doing the things couples do with u? or u should try using reverse psychology like for example PRETEND that u didnt like gay people and see what his reactions are, if he snapps or gets moody then that should give u your answer, then ofcourse u can tell him u was just testing him because u had your suspicions and that you're alright with him being gay etc etc...
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (15 October 2008):
 I am assuming he is gay. My brother had a girlfriend in Canada for about 6 years, ad I had see them together. It seemed at first he was straight, but when he turned around 19, 20 years old, he came out and told everyone he was gay. Anyway, this is just my opinion. If you really want to know, perhaps coming out gently and asking him if he is would be the first step. Tell him you support him either way and make him trust you and feel comfertable with you enough to tell you the truth Oif thats what the truth is).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): I'm not sure if you're going to find an easy answer to this. IF he would be gay, obviously he's hiding it and doesn't want you to know. He may just be curious with the website. And as far as his friend..?? Its hard to say...I just don't think there are any easy answers to this question other than you following him around every second. I mean, 5 years is a long time...it seems like you would know him well enough to know unless he truly is very clever and hiding it. I think you may be thinking too deeply....
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