A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Early last year me and the ex split up and two weeks later he started going out with another girl, claiming he wasn't ready for a relationship. He cheated on her a few times with me and broke up with her twice. We had a few fallings out but were still really good friend which was great. Then in november I decided enough was enough as I had found out he was engaged to her, after telling me he still loved me and wanted to be with me so I stopped texting him and seeing him. Up until a month ago I had no contact with him, I only saw him a few times but no conversation. I saw him one night while we were at a mutual friend's party, so the next morning I text him giving him my new number, he said it was great to hear from me, he had missed me and so on. We have flirted through text and he has told me that he loves talking to me and he has really missed me. We have met up on our own and nothing has happened, we have just caught up. Now I'm starting to get feelings for him and I don't like it because I know there could never be anything. I would really like to stop seeing him and stop talking to him but I'm just unsure if that's the best course. We are very good friends, but I don't want to hurt myself or him.... What do I do?!
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female
reader, becks81 +, writes (15 October 2008):
 I really feel for you because i've just had the same situation but went much further with it and have been through all the emotions that go with feeling something for the ex again. I wish it on nobody because you loved them, went through the grieving process and it all comes back again and slaps you hard in the face. Do not punish yourself for getting in this situation just focus on the here and now and how you can begin to feel the way you used to you were strong before and you will be again. Nobody can tell you what to do i think you truly have to listen to yourself and go with your gut instinct sometimes we ignore this and often its right i think you said you know there could be nothing so think hard about what you have said already.You will find it hard to continue the way you are with your ex if you really do still feel like this because the more you invest in this friendship/ something more you will become more and more attached and become in denial. Also you have to think about yourself first until you can really accept you will not be with this person you have to take a step back and gain control of the situation again. You may find you don't really need this person in your life anyway after all what are you really getting from him apart from this pain? Put yourself first be with friends and family and try to put one step forward everyday away from this person. You owe him ntohgn nor friendship. Good luck x
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