A
female
age
30-35,
*rokenhomexx
writes:My boyfriend of over 2 years just broke up with me a few weeks ago and I'm going crazy. Our entire relationship has been long distance.. but we made it work. We talked every night for two years and this summer he started going out with friends all the time and would never be home and it kind of hurt because he never called me anymore and I didn't know why. He broke up with me 5 days before my birthday in September, he said he couldn't be in a relationship right now because he had no time to do anything since he just started his senior year as did I. He said this with all intentions of getting back together when we graduate high school and in between he said he would talk to me any time he could. It was okay for a few weeks... 3 I guess, then he called me one day and said he decided he wanted to go to the university of Hawaii! when for 2 years we had been planning to go to Boston together and be with each other and he said he wanted me to go with him. 3 days later he comes back and says he decided he doesn't want me to go with him and he doesn't think we need to be together any more because he doesn't want to be "tied down" even though at the same time he says he loves me more than anything and I'm the only one for him. I dont know what to do... I just recently saw him and it was like nothing ever happened... it was great.. we had an amazing night... but then everything went back to the way it was... not talking and being alone but he still saysIi love you. I don't know what to do... I don't know if I should wait or just move on even though I know in my heart he's the only one for me and I don't want anyone else. I don't know if I should make him choose Hawaii or me? He says he wants to talk to me until the day we die... but I dont think I could keep talking to him and not be with him.. I'm so lost... because I KNOW he loves me...
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (15 October 2008):
 It appears that his relationship needs have changed. If he is concerned that things will be too hard on your relationship because of his obligations then he is choosing what he feels is best for both of you. You are still very young and it is hard to cope with a long distance relationship most less when one of the parties is so far away.
It is possible that he has realized it isn't fair to you at all making you wait. He could be trying to spare your feelings here by distancing himself. Giving you freedom to move on.
It is also possible that he has new friends, new things to do and is way too busy to carry on this long distance courtship with you.
Another possibility is he could have found someone else and again is sparing your feelings by not saying so. He is giving you the chance to move on with your life. I am sure he knows that being so far away it will be hard to maintain a good healthy relationship status.
Since he is going across the ocean so far away, he may even be thinking that by letting you go he is really giving you up...so you can find someone new and be happy again.
I will add that it appears he is a bit confused and uncertain about letting you go. Since he recently came around and things seemed par norm then he backed off again it's possible that someone(perhaps a parent or friend) has encouraged him to break it off with you so he can go to Hawaii to study without *ties...just as he said.
I don't think you should make him choose. When you push someone to give up something they really desire they will often resent you for it. He must follow his own heart. If he chooses to go, then you must follow yours. Try to remember that when someone really loves you ,they will usually come back around. If not then perhaps it was just meant to be. Let him study and get his education, and you study to get yours. It is likely that one day you two will meet again. True love has a way of presenting itself in full color when you least expect it!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): WOW.. I know EXACTLY how you feel, really I do. And I'm also a senior in High school.. I met this one guy who I fell completely in love with one summer before my freshman year, and I lived in California, and he lived in Washington, I met him in Washington while I vistited some family. So when i went back home me and him had a long distance relationship and talked every night like you did.. and he ended up convincing me to move to washington... so In the middle of my freshman year I decided to move to Washington, so I did and he Just broke up with me in august this year, the day before our anniversary.
but its so hard to deal with it because he still tells me he loves me as well and we were still friends with benefits... but like the way i'm dealing with it now, i just stop talking to him, it hurts more to talk to him... so like i don't tell him i love him, i act like i never new he existed.. it did seem completely impossible to do, but its the best thing to do. if your boyfriend still wants to be with you then maybe you should wait, but if he doesn't want to be "tied down" then let him be. he's at that age where he wants to experience things and to go out and not have to worry about having a girlfriend. if he's going off to college, he's going to want to party and things like that and will most likely be meeting other girls....
GOOD LUCK THO!! (:
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